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I don't understand please enlighten me...

This is something I have never understood.
Why is it that when a couple (and to clarify and young couple, no kids involved, never married but does want to be married and have a family someday) choose to stay together but not live together AFTER HAVING ALREADY LIVED TOGETHER and realizing that they can't live together. I mean what is the point of staying together I can't imagine there would be any future there. And this isn't about choosing not to live together at all prior to marriage or something this is specifically about those who date, move in together, realize they can't live together so one moves out, but they remain a couple. I have several friends and acquaintances that have done this and currently are in this situation. To me it is just a waste of time to stay together.


Asked by CarlieJS at 1:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,539 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I don't know for sure, but I will take a guess. The way it used to work was that a man and woman fell in love, got married, then found out they had differences, stayed together, worked them out and in the end, loved each other more than before they got married. That model has been thrown out the window by many, but two people now fall in love, move in together, discover they have differences, move out, still love each other but never work on settling their differences, so they never get to the good part of the marriage but can't bear to just throw each other away, so they settle for what little they can get.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Convenience. Because it's easier than going out and finding another person to date. That's why divorced people sometimes have their "bedroom" time after divorce. Convenience. And, there is still emotional involvement. They haven't totally let go yet.

    Answer by Kimimale at 2:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • doesn't make any sense to me neither. Your guess ia as good as mine.

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 2:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think if they tried living together and decided they could not do it there really would not be much hope for a marriage or raising children together because they were not able to compromise. I can see remaining friends but that would be about it. Why prolong the inevitable?

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:03 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • If one of the people involved in the relationship wants to be married and have a family some day, then realizing they can't live together after trying it, it doesn't make sense for them to be remain involved living apart. Lots of times, however, people choose to live like this rather than be completely alone or until someone better comes along. In any case, it may baffle you, but it really isn't for you to judge. You have the right to voice your opinion if asked for it and live your life as you seem fit. Heaven knows- there are all kinds of relationships I don't understand! Have a good day!

    Answer by rosiemendo at 2:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I did it. Me and my boyfriend moved in together 5 months after we started dating..we were madly inlove..a month later we got pregnant..3 months later I moved out cuz it was just a bad situation all around..and now 9 months later we're moving back in together..we've been together a year and a half. hes the love of my life and it took us bein seperated to make our relationship better

    Maybe RIGHT NOW..they just realize they can't live together..and somewhere down the road when they mature more..they can. Maybe they found out differences of each other that they need to work on seperately before the move the relationship forward. It doesnt always mean they will break up.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 2:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I get what you're saying too. But I don't judge. I have friends. They got preggers, moved in, fought all the time, decided they shouldn't live together, he moved out. She had the baby he moved back in and repeat the whole process. Now they are still dating, just not living together with a baby. Poor kid.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 3:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • dunno

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 3:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • 2boysnaprincess exactly my point. LOL. I know this is kind of a random question but so many of my friends do this and it drives me CRAZY!!

    Comment by CarlieJS (original poster) at 4:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • and and btw I am definitely not judging. And I have never said anything to any of my friends about it or voiced my opinion by any means. I just don't get it.

    Comment by CarlieJS (original poster) at 4:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2011