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do i have the right to want him to stop drinking ?

My husband has been to AA in the past and has excuses of why he went which to me says denial... i knew once i got to meet his family that it was likely an addiction... his father is an acoholic and so is his grandfather.... his parents have been divorced for a long time and remarried... his mom and step dad drink on the weekends... my husband was not as bad or maybe i didnt see it in the beggining but now he pretty much drinks every weekend even if its just a beer or 2 and i have noticed he will have one or 2 at night on some or all of the week days... oh and usually on the weekend its more than 2... i think it has gotten worse this past year, we have a 2 year old son and i dont want him thinking that its okay to drink a lot when he gets older... he is not abusive or anything like that but does act a little different . is it wrong for me to want him to stop or make it a once in a while thing ... whenever i mention how much he drinks he says its not that much...maybe im overreacting ...what do you think? am i in the wrong?

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 1:59 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If it's more than 5 a day...I'd begin to worry.
    2-3 a day...if that makes you an alcoholic, I know a bunch of them. It helps them unwind to drink.

    I wouldn't worry about it.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Well I don't have a problem with drinking around your kids, it doesn't set an example either way, we are over 21! BUT when that drinking is an addiction, then there is an issue. If you are worried you probably have just cause. I don't have any advice really, but just want to say that i'm thinking of you and am hoping for the best.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 2:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i'd be a little uncomfortable with it being a everday thing too. i think 1 or 2 ont he weekends is ok but you should talk to him about the every day thing and explain your concerns about your son
    Mrs.L.Mita

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 2:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I had to ask this of my husband last year.  Yes, I think that you are completely within your "right".  This is your CHILD.  If you don't want them to be around alcohol then stop it from happening.  I am a lush and let me tell you, we will say ANYTHING to justify our drinking.  I am a different kind of alcoholic than my husband.  He could drink all day long and had been for years.  To him he had to drink to be "normal".  He functioned all right and wasn't abusive or anything but he was extremely lazy and didn't pay myself or our children any attention.  He stopped drinking and wallaahhhhh he was a better person. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • It's not wrong for you to want him to stop, but you have no power to make him stop. You could issue him an ultimatum such as either he stops drinking or you and your son will not live with him. You might add that you will be willing for him to visit when he is sober, but that's as far as the marriage will go until such time as he decides to get the help he needs. I would offer to go with him or do whatever else I could to help him stop, but he has to have a reason that is strong enough to make him want to. That might be separation from you and your son, and I am not recommending that you threaten him with divorce--only a separation until he gets help.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • you have every right to want him to stop drinking.. and he should respect that.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 2:11 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • You definitley have the right to want him to stop. Someone who has to drink every day, even just 2 or 3, yes that is a problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • he is in denial
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Does he get drunk a lot or just have a relaxing beer after work? It all depends, there's a difference between drinking a beer or two and it becoming part of you. I think you have every right to worry especially when it come to being a mommy. Personally I think a beer every once in awhile is okay, but if it becomes a need then it should stop. You are that childs' parent too and you have say of what to teach your child.
    CadensMama117

    Answer by CadensMama117 at 1:26 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

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