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2 Bumps

Is it time to take my dd away from my ex?

My ex-husband lives at home with his mother, his step-dad, his 5 brothers and sisters, and his infant niece. When my dd stays over there she has to share a room with her aunt who is only a year older (9 years old). The other day she told me that her aunt (the 9 year old) is mean to her, locks her in their room and beats her up so that no one can hear, breaks her things when she's staying with me, and has even pointed a knife at her on 2 separate occasions and said, "I'm not afraid to use this and if you tell I'll cut you up." Ummmm......who the heck is watching these kids?!?!??!?!

I confronted my ex and he said that he had no clue that the knife thing happened and that the aunt must have done it while he was at work. He said that the girls do fight a lot but that my dd hits her aunt back and that they both lie A LOT. My dd swears that the knife thing happened twice and her story never falters, I have no reason to not believe her (she never lies to me). The aunt was adopted from a woman with schizophrenia and is known to have problems....but that house is so crowded, there's no where else for my dd to sleep. Is it time to take dd away from her father? WWYD?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)
  • I would contact a lawyer and get things solved that way. AND have a serious talk with your ex, this is about the welfare of your daughter. Best of luck hun
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 2:12 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i think you need to tell him she's afraid to go back there and you dont feel like it's safe for her anymore and if he really wants to spend time with his duaghter he needs to find somewhere else to live. evenif he cant afford an apartment an efficiency would be better than a crowded dangerous house
    Mrs.L.Mita

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 2:12 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • This is a hard situation but come on, if someone had pulled a knife on my child they would NOT be going back over there.  I would set up visitations in MY own home. I understand him having to work but I would make the arrangement not to hurt him, to protect my little one.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I don't think you should punish your exhusband.
    I think you should tell him she can only stay when he is there, and make sure to have her under supervision.

    Can she sleep on the couch or something?
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:14 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would talk to him about rearranging the time-split so that she's only there on his days off when he can supervise. If he won't agree to this, get a court-order. Your first priority is to keep your child safe.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:19 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • It depends on your court order. If he has court ordered parenting time, you don't have the ability to "take away" his time. You could sit down and ask him if there is somewhere else he can be during his time with your daughter. If you really feel your child is in danger, you can go back to court to modify the order, or call child services to check the home out.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I have the power to change the visitation whenever I choose.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would not be sending my child back to that environment, however, I don't think ex-dh should be punished. You two should work together and find a way to make it work with her not having to stay there. I have no advice on what to do though, sorry.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 6:25 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • It sounds to me like this house is overcroweded. I also don't think the child should be there when dad is not.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:16 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would tell ex that your daughter can only visit while he is there and that if there is any more complaints of violence and you feel your daughter is not being taken care of visitation will be limited to day visits only.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 8:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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