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At my wits end here - what do I do?

My husband was a smoker when I married him, a social one though. He would keep a pack for 2 weeks almost and he was honest about it so I was ok with it, also because his hygiene was so good. The last months the situation has become unbearable for me. He smokes a pack a day almost, or every 2 days. Our house smells like smoke not because he smokes inside (we have a toddler so that's forbidden, he realizes it and smokes outside) but whenever he comes from work or just comes inside after smoking, his clothes STINK literally. It's horrible. The door can't be opened all the time because it's -7-8C outside, it's freezing. The other thing is his hygiene. Just last night, I went a bit closer to show him my new earrings on my ears and when he replied, I had to move back and make an effort not to make an "EW" face and hold my tongue not to say anything. It was horrible, he apparently didn't brush his teeth in days and it smelled like old food and was disgusting. Our sheets smell, his clothes and the smoke doesn't go away in the washing machine, it's really bad. I don't know what to do. And we have a toddler too, I don't her in this environment. What can I do?? I'm at my wits end here.......

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Talk to him about it.

    Answer by zebbiebug at 2:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • If it is on only for a month it means something happened recently. I would say stress and depression. Send him to a counsellor. I think something happened in his workplace or in his life and it makes him stressful and he doesn't feel worthy. Try to talk to him but I would consider to ask him to go to a counsellor. It is better to close this question early because it will be worse and worse:S


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 2:57 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I agree that you need to adress this right away! The longer you wait the more hooked he'll be, which will make it more difficult (which will make him more moody and stress him out more). Don't attack him, but calmly confront him, because if there is some deep underlying stresser he will lash out. Believe me I've been there. Good Luck! :)

    Answer by mamagood81 at 3:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Ask him if he'd try the patch if you bought them for him. They worked very well for my husband and he was a pack a day smoker. It's such a smelly disgusting habit and you need to see if he's willing to stop it.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Quitting Smoking is SO HARD!!!! I smoked for 15 years, and I'm now 3 years smoke free........ all due to CHANTIX! It's an amazing drug! Tell him to talk to his doctor about it! It works!

    Answer by Smartin679 at 3:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • It's still not healthy for the child to be around a person who smokes even though they don't technically smoke in the house. They can get ashma just from being around a smoker and the way they smell. Tell him that you love him and you want him to be around for a long time and he should quit. Either that or slap a patch on him when he's not looking. good luck.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 3:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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