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dead beat dads

my ds father has not paid support since last november 07, he tried to go to the agency to lower it but he couldnt prove he couldnt afford it so they raised it. but he still hasent paid for a year know does the agency handle this or should i do something about it and if yes how do i go about that? he did not pay child support untill ds was 8 yo and we were split up before he was born. going after back support for those 8 years good or bad idea? he is not paying me know so i dont know what i should do. any advice

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sdeignan

Asked by sdeignan at 10:58 AM on Nov. 15, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • Did he know that your son was his son? Just wondering...
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • You have to deal with it, child support will not do it on their own, atleast not in NY. I have dealt with a sporadic payer of for 14 years, you have to call and tell them you want to file a violation of the order because he is not paying. If he has a job they should take it out of his check, if like my ex he is self employed you just have to keep on filing until he pays or goes to jail. I don't know about the back support, did he know about your ds? If not it depends on how you personally feel about it, I sort of feel like if he didn't know how could he have been paying?
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • You need to go to the courts and they will garnish his check. If you know where he works, and you have his SS#, it will be much easier for you.

    Good luck!
    yssasa

    Answer by yssasa at 11:29 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I would call the CS office and ask them. I dont have much to go on here because I dont collect CS but My mom always had to call when My sister dad did not pay. as for back support. If he did not know your son was his son or that your son existed how could he be paying. So unless he knew with out a doubt that you son was his then I would not go after him for back support. anyway he is not paying now why would he pay back support?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Yep. Dead Beat. I'm so sorry for your son. How hurtful for him. He may think he is hurting you, that you don't deserve "his" money, but in the end your son is who gets hurt. Keep after him. It may take years, but keep after him. Support your child in the best way you can and don't let attaining back child support be your focus. Still go after it - you will eventually get it but for some women it takes years. There is also the possibility (all though can be expensive) that you could go back to family court and put his sorry ass in jail until he pays up. I have seen that happen. Its amazing how when a judge says "you can pay $_____________now or you can go to jail" how Dead Beat will anti up.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:14 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • maybe next time you will choose someone better to be the dad of your child?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • That is sad and i know that there are many dead beat dads out there, but what happens when it's the opposite? My boyfriend's ex wont let him have anything to do with their child and he does pay child support. He has a fear that if he goes there in person he could end up getting shot or something. So sometimes when a dad wants to be a part of their children's life there is an ex who stands in the way.
    Cappy1979

    Answer by Cappy1979 at 5:16 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • hi ladies yes he knows about my ds and yes it is sad i made a horrible choice in fathers. but i know what you mean, it always seems like the dads that pay support are the ones that get kept away from there children and its not fair. i have never kept my ds away from his dad it is his dads choice how many times a year he sees him support or no support i wouldnt do that to my son, and yes he is the one that is getting hurt. he told him he was going to call him o his b-day that was in aug. still hasent called and ds has his own phone so he cant blame me. my husband know is great and very active in my ds life so i chose well the 2nd time and the last.
    sdeignan

    Answer by sdeignan at 6:31 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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