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How do I respond to my best friend telling me she doesn't want my 2 year old around her 20 month old??

My BFF told me she doesn't want my 2 year old daughter around her 20 month old son because she pushes and hits. I totally understand that no one wants their child to be hit or pushed, and I certainly don't allow it. I discipline her EVERY time she does it. My friend said she is worried that she will seriously hurt him or that he will pick up this negative behavior from her. It's embarrassing that my child does this, however I do not ignore it EVER! I consistently discipline her every time she does it. Anyway, I'm working on it, but I'm not sure how to react to my friend.

Answer Question

Asked by Smartin679 at 3:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • How can you respond other than "okay?"

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • You tell your friend that you understand completely, but that if your daughter doesn't continue to socialize and get corrective actions, she won't learn correct behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i think it's going a teensy bit far on her part, but try not to be mad at her for it. she's just worried about her son

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 3:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would do as my friend wishes. Put yourself in her position. Children do learn bad behavior from other children.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:51 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Well if you are correcting your child and she still has issues with it not much you can do.

     But she is going to be in for a rude awakening when her child starts doing it on her own since its normal when they can't express themselves in other ways. Respect her wishes but your not a bad mom or anything because your kid hits and pushes as long as you are trying to curb the behavior.


    Answer by Charis76 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think the only way you can respond is to tell her that you understand and that you respect her feelings and her choice. If you really want to be friends with her and she is okay with it, you could still see your friend--just without your child going with you to see her.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Tell her that you understand and that you hope you can revisit this when you and your daughter have worked through this period.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I guess I would just kind of step back. And not to be mean, but her kid will do it, her time will come. I am a SAHM and my 15m old and 2 1/2 year old are with me all day. They don't go to daycare. They get some interaction with other kids, I have a niece same age as my oldest and a 5 year old nephew. And let me tell you what, it's a natural progression in their development. No other kids needs to "show" them how to do it. It's a development of independence, assertiveness. Maybe you could explain that to her as well. When my son hit about 15 months he was more of a "bully" than my youngest now. He pushed my niece around, but then one day, her tiny little self hauled off and ran him down. Hilarious. but seriously, it's natural, maybe your friend needs to realize this.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I've actually felt the same way about my daughters friend recently...but ya know what?? eventually they'll pick up everything from school anyway. you can't keep them in a bubble..if she's really your best friend, then she should understand that her child will pick up the same habits too..just try explaining it to her..

    Answer by calliesmommie at 3:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i totally understand what your friend is saying because I had a friend who's child pushed, scratched and bit every child she came in contact with. The parent thought the discpline techniques she was using would eventually work BUT she wasn't showing the child the right way to interact with other children. One day that same little girl scratched the wrong kid and ended up with scratches and bite marks all over her. She hasn't hit, pushed or bit anyone since...As I stated, I understand what your friend is saying because no parent wants to see their child being pushed around or hit by another child ALL the time.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:53 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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