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More Venting About My Friend and Her Family!

I posted a question a while back and thought I would update it.  I got a few questions about why my friends son makes me iffy but I wanted to post again at a later date and give me a chance to think about things myself for a little bit.  So last night my friend and her family come over to finish their laundry.  Because of the "iffy" feeling her 13 year old son gives me I don't let my kids play in their bedrooms while he's here, they have to stay in direct eyesight.  Last night I caught their son flipping off my 5 year old son when they were getting toys to bring to the living room.  We were all sitting in the living room.  I immediately got angry and was like "everyone to the living room NOW".  My friend asked me if something had happened and I said "they are in there flipping each other off".  My friends husband looked at the 13 year old and said "you better not have been doing that".  My friend has already told me that her hub is WAY physical in discipline.  I've never seen him be out of line with his son but the way he was looking at him kind of scared me. He asked the 13 year old if he had flipped my son off and he stood right there and lied to his dad.  I dropped it.  I didn't have a confrontation about it because I didn't want him to get into trouble.  SO wrong of me, I know.  Something in the way the hub said it, it just put me on edge.  There is a lot more going on with this family and us and I need to vent about it so I'll be making a few posts today and airing my dirty laundry, lol.  What do you ladies think about this episode?  Was I overreacting or should I have told his dad?  And PLEASE, I am pregnant, I know that my hormones are going nuts, don't "cushion" me on any of these posts. 

 
MrsHouston47302

Asked by MrsHouston47302 at 4:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 40 (118,081 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i would definately say go with your gut. If i dont feel that somethin is right then i definately dont allow my kids to around it or participate in it in any way. Personally i really dont see what a 13 year old boy would want to do with a 5 year old and a 3 year old anyways. My little brother is 14 and he dosent like to play with our 7 year old nephew. that is just one of them age blocks. a 13 year old boy or girl is just to hormonal and having all them mixed emotions and what not going on and it would sound to me like this boy is just looking for innocent children that are smaller than him to "dominate" and maybe even hurt considering the way (you have been told) his father treats him. You never really know what that kid is feeling or thinking.
    Rylansmommy386

    Answer by Rylansmommy386 at 4:59 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Might b something, give some more time to see things happen, just because you never know. Otherwise keep journaling some times and events, and when he is alone with her without you and why.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Go with you gut.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 4:51 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I guess if serious situations were occurring that I wasn't fond of, I would probably stop inviting my friend over for awhile. I would ask her out in public instead- just you and her. Maybe having one on one time without the kids and husbands around will open up some personal conversations and something important would be shared with you. If you are uncomfortable with her son around you and your kids, just avoid it completely.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 4:54 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I agree that it would be best to stop hanging out in situations where the kids are forced together. And definitely follow your instincts regarding not letting him alone with your kids. Even with you watching it is really risky though, if you really think he might try something. It only takes a minute for something awful to happen that can not be undone. Most 13 year olds don't want to hang around preschoolers. If they do have to come over maybe try to find something more age appropriate for him to do like play a game, watch a movie or something like that, and let your kids play on their own where you can see them. If you think something serious is amiss with the father then an anonymous call to CPS might be in order just so someone can check up on the home- if the boy is being abused then someone needs to step in and it may be an explanation for his own strageness.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 5:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • why put your self around him tell your friend how you felt about the situsation
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 5:53 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Oh and the reason that he makes me iffy is just a feeling that I get.  He literally makes the hair on my neck stand up.  I have a daughter who is 3 and he is up her butt.  He is always trying to be alone with her, etc. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Comment by MrsHouston47302 (original poster) at 4:44 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Oh, and don't worry mamas!  He will never have the chance to do anything, I just want to see if I am being hormonal, lol.

    MrsHouston47302

    Comment by MrsHouston47302 (original poster) at 4:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Oh no, lol.  He is never alone with her.  I might be being paranoid on that aspect but I'm not budging.  I would rather look paranoid than to have something bad happen to my kids.

    MrsHouston47302

    Comment by MrsHouston47302 (original poster) at 4:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • You just made my point perfectly Rylansmommy!  That is the first thing that set me off about the 13 year old.  He is mean to his 3 year old sister but his parents constantly tell me that he LOVES kids.  He isn't allowed to have friends come over and he isn't allowed to stay over any where except at his parents friends house so I thought he was just lonely.  It's possible that's what it is but I'm not going to chance it ya know.

    MrsHouston47302

    Comment by MrsHouston47302 (original poster) at 5:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011