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2 Bumps

Can you choose NOT to fall in love? Have you ever done so?

I've got a very dear friend, but we live far apart. And actually -for my child's sake- I was planning to move even further away from him, but closer to my own family. There's emotional tension in the air. He knows it and I know it, but I try to remind myself: "Don't go there!" It sucks and I don't know what to do right now.
I don't want him to give up his job (which is an essential part of his life, of who he is) by asking him to move with us. Who knows if it;s going to work out at all? Any advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • We can fall out of love, when we stop hoping that things can work out well.

    If he's bad for you and your baby, keep him away. If he loves you, why worry about his job etc?

    True love ALWAYS FINDS A WAY.
    My husband and I lived 10,000 miles apart, for over a year, and risked our jobs, spent all our savings, and now we're together.
    We're still working on "our love thing", but we decided to stick together and work everythig out.

    If we can, you can. DO it !!!


    Answer by lillyblue111 at 6:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think there are many people that just do not allow themselves to get too close to anyone, to avoid possibly falling in love. But I believe that love is worth the risk. Even if something doesn't work out. Didn't someone once say, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Who was that??

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 4:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Yep. Sometimes the mind needs to take control over the heart. Whether you need to be doing that, or what the PP mentions as better to have loved..........., I don't know.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think you should do waht's best for you and your child. If there's love things will somehow work out in the end.

    Answer by Azita888 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • "He beats me and my childs, but I looooooove him, and he loves me." - not the OP, just an example

    I don't believe that if there is love, things will somehow work out in the end. I call bull crap.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:58 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I don't think we choose who we fall in love with, but we can most certainly choose who we act upon it with.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • You can run but you can never hide from love.

    Answer by older at 4:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • you could date my es for a time
    and then be turned off to all men ... forever

    just a suggestion


    think with your head and not allow your heart to make any descisions

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i was in a similar situation I had to make a choice about my life. I had to move and it was either with him or far away from him. I considered the fact that it may not work, but I also considered the fact that it might. I actually did a list in my mind of the cons and pros of me moving and his goods and his bads, how well he got along with my son, and how well he had his life put together. And then I made my choice and I dealt with the outcome of it. Now I'm engaged to be married and happier than I've ever been, all because I took a chance. Not every chance is promised to be your happily ever after ending but at the same time chances only come once. “One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else."

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 5:28 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My hubby and I have been friends fro almost 25 years. We dated in middle and high school and remained friends all this time. He was aware of my various relationships and marriage mistakes throughout the years and I knew of his relationships. 4 years ago, we decided to go for it despite living 12 hrs apart. It took less than 5 months of a LDR for me to walk away from my life and move to his city. We are now married and have a newborn son. Our relationship is amazing and I attribute that to all the years of friendship. I would have to say that you can NOT choose to not fall in love, but you can choose not to act on your feelings. I have never been one to ignore my heart, personally.

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 6:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2011