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2 Bumps

Overbearing mother finally leaves...why the guilt?

My fiance's mother has lived with us for 2 years. When she moved in she took over the entire house (living room, dining room, kitchen, and even the master bedroom) and she demanded things be her stuff and her way. So then starting back in August when she found out we we're expecting a baby, her attitude towards me began to change. She complained about little things; me cooking dinner, buying groceries, cleaning, spending time with my fiance, etc. She would come home and tell him 'her' house wasn't clean and things like that. So she finally couldn't control it anymore and exploded on me one nite calling me the b-word and a hoe numerous times and since then its been tension in the house. I ignore her and stayed in my bedroom, she still spoke ill of me to her family and my fiance, but I just ignored her. Finally she came home one day and started an argument with him because we didn't speak to her. She told him she was not moving out (as she had told us since last year) and we could not have the master bedroom back. We could leave and she would take over the mortgage but she refused to leave. He refused they argued, she threatened him and the arguing continued for two days. She took all her things, dishes, trashcans, brooms, food, and put it in her bedroom (?) and then called the cops because she banged on our bedroom door and we wouldn't let her in. Now his mother is finally leaving because the cops told her to and he acting sad. She put him through hell he even was prepared to walk 7 miles to work in the rain because she threatened to call the cops on him. I'm disgusted because all he says is he wants her to leave now shes leaving and he's sulking. He hasn't even said anything to me, in my guess because she's using the guilt trip. I just don't understand. We all have moms, I have one whose done me wrong but this woman is insane.

 
thelovelymzbre

Asked by thelovelymzbre at 5:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Wow to all of that! I can't believe that she had the audacity to treat you & your fiance that way after you open your home to her. I would've even thought that her mood would've changed for the better not the worse after hearing of your pregnancy (to make this huge transition in your life easier for you). Perhaps your fiance is acting this way, because no matter how much tension, hurt & pain she's put him (and you) thru, he still feels obligated to be a good son. Now I'm just guessing, but his mother sounds like she's probably a very manipulating person in which she can get him to feel that guilt, even when he knows that he's doing the right thing for you & your upcoming family. (I've known that similar feeling of guilt). But, in the end, I hope he realizes that what you all did, even though it wasn't a smooth transition getting her out LOL, was for the best. Good luck & Congrats on your upcoming baby! :)
    Vlex

    Answer by Vlex at 5:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • She called the cops on YOU for not letting her into YOUR bedroom, and refused to leave YOUR house? Wow, that is bat-shit crazy.

    Still, your fiance probably does feel guilty. This woman gave him life and he feels like he's doing her wrong by making her leave. Still, DO NOT let that woman live with you if you're starting a family because seriously, she will wreck everything. It will be horrible, don't let his guilt screw you guys over like that. Reassure him, tell him she will find a place where everyone can be happy and DO NOT allow him to invite her back. DO NOT.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 5:26 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • That is YOUR home, not hers.  Calling you names is ridiculous.  Mother or not she would have had to hit the road long ago.  I can understand feeling guilty but come ON!  She is in YOUR house.  If I were you, she would NOT have taken over, period.  She is the guest and she should act like one. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • We never told her to leave the cops told her she was causing problems because this was the second time she called the cops on me and they didn't like the idea of it. We never told her to leave she actually told us to leave.
    thelovelymzbre

    Comment by thelovelymzbre (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • and she just proved herself, she told him to give her back a computer she gave him 6 years ago. Childish much?
    thelovelymzbre

    Comment by thelovelymzbre (original poster) at 5:31 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I bet she wants him to sulk. It's his mother, no matter what...he is going to feel for her if she is upset. But man....talk about door mat! Sorry, but you guys just allowed lady walk all over you. I would be pumped that she is leaving & rub it in DH's face. I would remind him how happy i am that i have my house back. I would let him sulk & say "too bad, but the bitch has to go". I would not handle that in MY house. I it was me, mother in law would have been gone years ago.

    I really don't get how she thinks she can take over your house like that & you guys just let her....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • The woman really needs some serious counseling.....I'm sorry your going through this. She is either sick or a very selfish woman. GL hon.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 5:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • SELFISHNESS is her sickness. She tries to control her son.
    Your man is by your side, so don't accuse him or blame him for crying over her. She gave birth to him and they are attached.
    His logic tells him to keep her away, but the little boy in him has only met one mother, so he cries for her good sides - when she's not crazy !

    You didn't mention your father in law, so I presume she's either a widow or divorced - can't blame him.

    A Joke for your dad in law " Why do married men die first? Cause they want to!!!"







    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 6:05 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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