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Close friendship with his buddy's wife

Hi ladies !
My bf of 3 months now, said his best friend is his buddy's wife.
They "agree in everything but politics".

Our relationship is a long distance one, and feel kind of left out, cause the 3 of them (the couple and my guy) go on long bike trips etc.

Another day he said the 3 of them went to a Beer Marathon and the 2 men got so drunk that the lady had to carry them, put them in the car and take them home.

I visited my man last week, and he asked to borrow her bike, so that him and I can go for a ride. For a week she was aloof, and the day I was leaving she texted him "Come and take the bike".

Also, we went to her birthday party and my man called her "the star" all the time.
On my birthday showed emotions, but not the "star" admiration he showed to her.

We're so far apart and I guess I'm jealous cause we don't have the opportunity to do things they can do.

Please share your views and advise !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Tell him exactly how you feel. Have you? How far away do you live & how often do you get to see him?

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would confront him (gently) about your concerns. Guys can be kinda tricky if they think they are being accused of something. I can see where it could be something just like a real good friendship. But I would definatly let him know you have concerns.

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 5:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • you should let him have his bf and you be the gf, unless you want to push him away. i take it he's had her as a friend longer than he's known you. i think you're only jealous because his bf is a female. you need to get over it, or you'll be out of the picture, most likely.

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:34 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I really would calmly discuss this with him, if your not comfortable doing that I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship. GL


    Answer by zbee at 5:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • FYI, my best friend is a guy & i have had jealous bitchy women not like me before & get in between our friendship. Don't be that jealous woman that won't let him have his friendships. That's not fare to him. If i were you, i would get to know her real well & be friends with her. Then y'all can do couple things together & everyone will be happy

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:43 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • What I was wondering is what would happen if you guys didn't live so far away?  What would happen if you always felt like your being pushed to the side and instead it was in your face?  Come first, or not at all.  I would definitely have a sit down conversation with him and tell him exactly what you just said here.  He can't fix what he doesn't know about. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:44 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • tell him the truth

    Answer by mommy161617 at 6:17 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would talk to him about it. Try to schedule events with all 4 of you so you can feel more into their relationship. Friends are friends but I know how hard it is knowing your man confides in another woman. It can make you jealous and that's not good.

    Answer by huntin_mama at 7:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like the friend's wife likes having her hubby and a 'bf' as well. Sounded like she got jealous when you were in town. But he's your man and you should just talk to him and tell him how you feel.

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:55 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Personally, I would hold off on having a talk with him on how you're feeling. I understand your feeling left out, but I would make sure that she is really giving you the cold shoulder, there could be a lot of reasons she was off the time you went to visit. (PMS, fight with her dh, maybe you were giving off bad vibes because you were jealous of their friendship). I would meet with her at least twice more to determine if you like her and she you (first impressions are sometimes tainted by prior opinions and feelings). I think if you start out with negativity against his friend this early, this relationship won't go anywhere!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:58 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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