Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

does anyone else get scared/nervous when hub goes out drinking?

Sometimes he comes back acting verbally nasty,and if in a bad mood, then throwing things. He has gotten better, but called me after work that he was going to a mutual friend of ours. ( which means drinking) basically,how do you avoid conflict,with someone who enjoys it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • are you pregnant or have a kid? either way its not right. my fiance doesnt even drink and he hardly goes out.neither do i. I mean yes you need a little time apart but i mean really? drinking..step up he doesnt need to be going out. especially if you guys have a kid or are pregnant. I mean i wouldnt let mine.
    Bree_vee25

    Answer by Bree_vee25 at 7:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would talk to him about how you feel. It sounds to me, that if that's how he acts when he is drunk, then he shouldn't be drinking period. I would tell him that he makes you feel unsafe, and afraid. And that if he wants to go out and drink, then he needs to either find a way to be responsible and limit his drinking so he isn't crossing that line, or not drink. If he cannot do either...I'm not sure I would be able to stay.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 7:37 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My DH has never gone out drinking. But If I was in that situation, I would try to be asleep when he came home and avoid any conflict & in the morning I would go out shopping. Let him be miserable alone. OR go sleep over your Moms house or a friends for a girls night. I believe in positive reinforcement like when you teach a rat to beg for food. Let it always be unpleasant for him when he gets home by either being asleep or out yourself. Then I would just ignore him.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I do have a child from previous relationship,but he doesn't see any of this go on. I did put my foot down, and he stopped now, but out of blue, did tonight.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:41 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Does he act like that when he's not drinking? Are there some anger issues that needs attention and he doesnt allow out unless he's relaxed like when he's drinking?

    I like to go out socially with friends and have a few drinks...I'm completely faithful though. My SO likes to drink but doesn't like to go out and do it. He does at home or when we go fishing, camping, etc. And he NEVER crosses the line. I mean he gets a little obnoxious but not abusive in ANY way.

    Talk to him and decide what you can put up with and compromise on.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 7:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • when my hubs did i didn't mind i knew he was smart enough to not over do it. but if your hubs is acting that way he may need to just calm it down a bit... i really don't think a person should drink if they can't handle the out come.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 7:50 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • well first of all if you have a kid thats not his. i think hes staying out late cause thats not hus kid which isnt right. i mean he should be there for you casuse he knew you had a kid from the beginning im sorry its just my opinion. im pretty sure you have a good guy its just he needs to step up...GOODLUCK GIRLY!!!
    Bree_vee25

    Answer by Bree_vee25 at 7:51 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • yes i do my hubby dosnt go drinking very often but when he does he gets verbally aggressive if things dosnt go hes way sometimes not all the time only when we get in a fight ... but when i know thats going to happen i just try to avoid him and he goes right to sleep i think thats the best thing to do with a drunk person avoid him untill the morning then you could bitch at him as long as you can lol good luck
    Genesis29

    Answer by Genesis29 at 7:53 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • i married a guy who liked to go out drinking. he would come home and was verbally, and physicaly abusive. we had a baby together, and i was pregnant with our second, and he would often leave me alone to go out.. I hated it when he left.. i was afraid of what he would b like when he returned. i dont believe it ever "gets better" he may stop for a while, but it will start again, and could get worse at any time. my ex put me in the emergency room, because he came home angry and took it out on me i was pregnant at the time also.. if he is abusive, he needs help, my ex refused to see a psychologist and things just got worse.. talk to him when he is sober only! tell him he scares u. no one should have 2 walk on egg shells around the man they love!
    sarahlu

    Answer by sarahlu at 8:00 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My fiance doesn't go out drinking. If he does, I ALWAYS go with him because he feels too bad to even go out without me. If he wants drink we have a few at home together after the kids are in bed:)
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 8:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.