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What is she doing?? Mid-aged women may be able to help best.

Okay so long story short my mom has not been in a relationship for 4 years or so. When her ex broke it off with her after 10 years in a phone call she felt very discouraged. She loved and still loves him so much she cannot move on. He didnt give her a reason. I think she needs closure that she will never get. There is a new guy that she is dating (finally) but she says she has no sexual interest in him because he is not very attractive. From what I hear he likes her a lot though and treats her very well. She is not the type of person to play games but she goes out with him every weekend. Is she just milking it for what its worth? Or is she so insecure she has to say she is not attracted to him so she doesnt feel burned if he leaves?


Asked by LovinEveryDay at 12:08 PM on Nov. 15, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Sounds to me like she is lonely and enjoys having someone pay attention to her and making her feel special again. Maybe she just isn't feeling any sexual chemistry, which is very possible! I have been out with guys who are very nice and attractive that I enjoy spending time with but I just don't have a sexual connection with. Give her time and maybe an eHarmony account! lol

    Answer by amydh at 12:43 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • She may just be enjoying having someone to do things with.....and it could be a good transition for her to start getting out there. Who knows....she may find she is attracted to him at some point. If not, maybe he will be a good friend. Maybe this is all part of her dealing with working through her feelings about her ex and her fears about getting into a relationship.....I don't think she is doing anything wrong, as long as she is pretty clear with him.

    Answer by BJoan at 12:13 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • It could be that she just wants company. And people become more sexually attractive when you get to know them, so her current feelings may change. If she was/is hurt, she may be moving very slowly to keep from being hurt again. I'd say just support her and let her figure it out on her own.

    Answer by profmom922 at 12:15 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • It might just take some time. Let her be, maybe she is forming a friendship (Which is what we should all do first) and in time, when she is ready, maybe it will lead to more. Do not force the issue, nor try to interfere... hurt takes time to heal.

    Answer by pupmom at 12:42 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • i think she feels this way cause she can't see any guy as better then the one she once had. she may not find him sexually attracted either. so that makes it hard to see how he might be the one she should accept. she will go through a lot of guys before she finds the one that is her other half. he will pass but i think she should break it off if he really likes her and she can't seem to like him more. she shouldn't after all this time still feel insecure but she might be. i was divorced 12 yrs and felt insecure after some time of seeming to find no good guys but that's all it was not any guys were good enough for me or what i needed. when i was ready for him he just popped up.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:59 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

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