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My 9yo does not want to spend time with her Grandmother.

Her grandmother has been a very negative influence in her life. Now that she is getting older she is starting to realize that she does not want to have anything to do with her (my mother). She is close to her paternal grandmother, as she makes time for her grandkids and is involved in all of her grandkids lives. My mom has 9 (soon to be 10) grandchildren and 8 (soon to be 9) live in the same city as her. She has no time for ANY of them and when she does make time she only beings up stuff they don't really care for. All of the older ones fell the same way. My SIL is making her oldest (both 13) spend time with her even though they really don't want to. I told my 9yo it is up to her, if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. Is that ok?


Asked by summerbear at 7:49 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,691 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • I wouldn't force it if she's not interested, especially if she has a valid reason. I would continue to invite the grandma to family events and b-day parties and things of that nature having to do with your daughter, to ensure that they have an opportunity to have contact if either of them wants it. My ILs are like this too... they have pretty minimal contact with the kids, and the kids really don't get excited about seeing them or ask to see them... we live about half an hour away and can go months at a time without seeing them and the kids don't even mention it. I make sure to invite the ILs to everything pertaining to the kids- at that point I feel I've done my part and the rest is up to them. Really I think the grandparents are missing out on more than the kids are in these types of situations!

    Answer by Freela at 8:48 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would not force my daughter to be uncomfortable around anyone. Family or not.

    Answer by MLM0503 at 8:15 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • *I* think that it depends on the situation.... Maybe she doesn't have to spend a lot of time with her but I see short things like lunch to be needed. Kids don't always know what's best for them and I think even if it's just every once in a while then it would be best in the future... JMO

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 7:54 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I would agree it's OK as kids me and my sister spent time with our grandmother the older we got my sister spent more time with her. They enjoyed doing things together . Not to say she preferred her over me I just don't spend time with her . So if your daughter doesn't want to then don't force it . good luck


    Answer by waitin4u at 8:13 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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