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What kind of note is this for the teacher to send home!?

I quote:

Carl is having trouble completing or even starting task. He was having inappropriate conversations at the lunch table today about private parts. We are working on a new plan to discuss with you next week at our meeting to help him.'

That's all I got. I know he has trouble staying on task he has Asperger's with adhd tendencies. That's nothing new we have been struggling with that since last year. Then I get this brief little blip of your son was talking about privates at the lunch table!? No details, not who heard it or what he was saying just like, by the way... So I ask DS about it knowing full well her won't talk to me about it because either A)He is afraid he will be in trouble again or B) and more likely He really isn't totally clear on what he got in trouble for. After all he has significant delays in social appropriateness. Not that, that makes it okay but I can't help him if I don't know what was said. Our meeting isn't for 2 more days so I am left hanging. This is not the first time this teacher has sent home a random tid-bit of information that really called for more of a short email or phone call for pete's sake. What do you think?


Asked by But_Mommie at 8:03 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 44 (181,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Wait to see what she says, but it is kind of crappy that she left you hanging in doubt. Anyway, if it was something really bad, she would have made the meeting sooner, so don't worry and when you do meet, please tell her not to do this again, to just spell out what happened and not keep you in suspense.

    Answer by older at 8:06 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Do you have a diagnosis of his Asperger's? Does he have an IEP? What is the school doing to help him develop routines and work on socially acceptable behaviors? I'm not certain this teacher is qualified to teach your son. Since the meeting isn't for 2 days, I would call the school and insist the district Autism Specialist sit in on the meeting. If the district doesn't have one, make them tell you who does that work for the district. They have someone, whether they work for the county, the city, or whatever.

    Answer by Marwill at 8:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think I would tell her that at your next meeting. Tell her with his challenges, it's easier for you to talk to him about things as soon as possible after they happen, and if you are unclear on what has happened you can't handle it at home. Let her know that an e-mail or even better a phone call that you can respond to would be very helpful for you.

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:07 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think she is simply making you AWARE that a new plan is being worked on, so when they bring it up at the meeting, you won't be surprised. You now now a new plan is in the making. She cannot give more detail, for the plan is not set yet. That's what I get from it.


    Answer by KairisMama at 8:18 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I think just to let you know that something is going on, so you know she knows and so that you're not surprised at the meeting. Try giving her a call or emailing to get some more of the details. I know from both sides it hard to get all of the story across when you don't get to see each other in person.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 8:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • To answer the questions above yes he has an IEP and an 'official' diagnosis from a private psychologist. She is aware of this. I agree I am not sure she is qualified to teach him...

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:10 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • IEP's have to be rewritten periodically. I would insist on some guidelines for teacher involvement and communication. You still should insist that the Autism Specialist be present. They must make some effort to help your son learn to work on tasks and he should be in some sort of social interaction training. Asperger's kids just don't understand how to talk to other people. They can learn better social behaviors through role playing and closely monitored interactions. He probably shouldn't be thrown in with a class full of kids all the time. Does he have an aide with him during the day?

    Answer by Marwill at 8:19 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • now know***

    Answer by KairisMama at 8:19 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • He doesn't have an aide with him. I'm not even sure how to go about getting him one but I think it would be beneficial.

    I am not worried she did not give details on the plan I am worried about what he said at the lunch table.

    Comment by But_Mommie (original poster) at 8:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My son is going to be diagnosed with autism, long story, not going to go into it. He should have at least some time in a classroom with a special education teacher. You should request that the head of the disabilities program be there. It sounds like she doesn't know how to handle someone with his needs. Any type of "misbehavior" needs to be dealt with when it happens not two days later. Children like ours forget what and why they did something about 10 seconds after doing them. I'm so sorry you have to go through something like this. I will say that apparently whatever he said wasn't as bad as you think it was, unless she is a complete idiot, but usually if they say something off the wall that leaves your jaw dropped they'll send him to the office and they would call home. Take a deep breathe and take any documentation of his diagnosis with you. Good Luck.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 8:52 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

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