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2 Bumps

why is he always bored??

My husband and i just moved to this new states about 6 months ago. We left our family and friends back home. Since we have been here, he has made a couple of friends and he goes out with them from time to time. They also come over to our house sometimes to play xbox. Whenever they aren't around he cant stop saying how bored he is. It makes me feel horrible, because when we made the decision to come out here we knew what we were getting into. We talked about how things were gonna be different and how we weren't gonna be going out that much. Another reason it makes me feel bad is cause i don't go out at all. I'm home all day everyday with my kids and i never complain. I have tried talking to him about how it makes me feel and he always cops an attitude and then we end up in an argument. Or it always ends up being my fault cause i don'twant to hire a baby sitter. I'm sorry but its very hard for me to trust strangers with my children. I feel like if i were to hire someone to watch my kids and go out for a date night i wouldn't enjoy myself cause my kids would be on my mind the whole time. When i suggest to do things as a family he always has an excuse as to why he doesn't wanna do it. Does anyone else have issues like this with there husbands? Any advise on how i can make it better for him or us? Thanks so much in advance for any help


Asked by Christieluv0614 at 8:29 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,524 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I know your history more than anyone little sis...well almost anyone (Moni LOL)! And you know I'm just looking out for you & I love you to death, but I really think that if you all really want to make it work, get yourself some counseling NOW! I think he's being really selfish because I'm not sure if he's intentionally pushing himself away from you & the kids or he's just really unhappy and needs other "people" around to make him feel good about himself. Maybe he is bored...with his life and didn't think it was going to be like this when you left. But that's not your fault! And he shouldn't make you or the kids feel his misery just because he's miserable. That's not right. I love & miss you 3 and want nothing but the best for you. And it pains me to know that you're really sad & lonely¬†out there because you don't have us right next door. But know that we love you & you can always come back home.


    Answer by Vlex at 8:47 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Why don't you try in home date nights? After the kids go to bed cook a nice dinner, drink a glass of wine, heck eat at teh dinner table naked! He might be being a poop but you can try and make things more interesting KWIM? ;)

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 8:55 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • what an ass. lol. sorry ihad to say it. maybe if you make mom friends in your area you can build up the trust and do alternate babysitting when you're ready. like you watch their kids one weekend night and the next they watch yours. hang out during the day and get to know each other and be open about what you like and dont like in terms of caring for your kids. there's stay at home moms everywhere with the same dilemma

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 9:18 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Compromise with him once and hire a sitter to take the kids for one night - have him ask one of his friends that come by -they have met your family and are already people you are comfortable with having in your home and around your kids. It sounds like he really needs some time out of the house, even if you don't feel like you do, and even if you do worry about the kids you'll still be getting to spend some much-needed personal (and bonding) time with your DH.

    Answer by hippomom1919 at 8:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I understand about not leaving your children with strangers, my youngest ones are 5 and 6, and I won't let them stay with anyone other than my FIL and MIL. If you can find a sitter for a couple hours, it may help. I know it's hard being in a place where you don't know anyone. You can do a wonderful job of finding a sitter and checking references before time to go out. You can't be at home 24/7 with your kids and not get on edge. Go out to dinner and a movie, and go home to your babies. Good Luck.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 9:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • I see what you're saying about getting a sitter but if the alternative is your marriage falling apart then do it!! You can maybe try to see where he's coming from and also, go out yourself with HIM watching the kids and make him miss you!!! I'm assuming you never give him that opportunity. If you never do anything outside of the house you're probably contributing to driving him insane, at least that's how it is with most men. Make yourself challenging to him so he will not be a bored man. good luck I hope it all gets better!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011