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The "talk" adult content

so my 5 year old son came home from kindergarten, it was a normal day, always ask him how it went, told me it went well. . . later on that day, during dinner, he asked me the big question i didn't expect to be asked for at least another 5-7 years from now. he asked, "mom, what's sex?". completely caught off gaurd, my first question to him was what he knew about it. . . giggling, he told me it was when a man and woman get naked and start kissing. told him ok, well that's more than he should know right now, and that he was too young to be worrying about any of that right now, but assured him that it was a perfectly normal thing, but for a wife and husband to know, but also that i would always be there to answer any questions he had, and tried to make him feel as comfortable as possible to come back to me again later on. he was satisfied with this answer . . curious, i asked where he had heard that from, he told me the kids at school told him. . . what the hell are all these teachers doing that they allow conversation like that to go on in kindergarten?

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Kare0608

Asked by Kare0608 at 9:54 PM on Jan. 31, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (53 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Well remember it is a teacher and 1 assistant with about 22 kids. The teacher puts them at centers to play in which is usually 5 or 6 centers not to mention if she is helping at the art center there is no way she can listen to every conversation each center has and the assistant is sometimes doing things for the teacher. It sucks I know. Know one wants there children hearing things they are too small to hear. I would inform the teacher so she can keep an eye on your child and the child that told. Ask your child to name that child that told that way the teacher will know.
    1911

    Answer by 1911 at 10:01 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Something similar happened when my son was in pre-k. He came home and told me that he wanted me to have a baby sister for him (he was an only child) I was divorced from his dad, and a single mom at the time, and I told him that a baby needed a mommy and a daddy. He said "Mom, you don't understand. There's this egg in your tummy, and something happens to it, and it becomes a baby, and there's nothing you can do about it!" He learned this from a little boy whose mom had just had a baby of course.

    I don't think the teachers can possibly hear every conversation these kids have, especially during play times. But, it sounds like you gave your son a reasonable answer. If he didn't ask anymore questions, he was probably satisfied. Just keep the lines of communication open, because the questions keep coming, and they will ask questions you aren't prepared for at times when you don't expect them!!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:02 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • that true, it's just such a surprise, mind you i've had to take him out of the school since, we moved to canada, but him knowing so much so soon, i don't want him teaching other children, or his little brother, but don't know how to do it without making the subject taboo, and i don't want to make him feel as if it's an embarrassing conversation
    Kare0608

    Comment by Kare0608 (original poster) at 10:08 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • Just let it go unless he is still talking about it. If you are worried about him telling others just explain to him that it is not really something children his age should be talking about but I don't know I haven't been in a situation like this. You did a great job responding I am sure you will come up with a way to handle this problem.
    Good luck!
    1911

    Answer by 1911 at 10:21 PM on Jan. 31, 2011

  • My daughter is about to be 9 next month, but we ended up having to have 'the talk' with her when she was 7. She came home and said her and some friends were play 'sex' at school, except 'not the peeing part'. I asked her what she thought sex was and how did they play it. She told me that she thought it was when girls and boys dance sexy, take off their clothes, and boys either pee on them or somehow inside them, and the way they play it AT SCHOOL is the boys and the girls swing around a pole, shake their butts and rub their stomachs. OMG. So, I had already been reading a book called "THE TALK: What Your Kids Need to Hear From YOU About Sex" by Dr. Sharon Maxwell. EXCELLENT book that covers all age groups and EXTREMELY helpful and insightful. Anyway, since this incident was not the first time she had not only asked about sex, where babies come from, but had mentioned that she and her friends had exchanged ideas about what...
    brandy0827

    Answer by brandy0827 at 2:51 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • CONT...
    they thought sex was. I went to Barnes and Nobles and found an appropriate book to use to help explain what sex was and where babies come from. My fiance and I went over the book several times before talking to her about it. That week we spoke to the principal and her teacher about what my D had told me. We also 'warned' her teacher we planned on having 'the talk' with her. We waited until the weekend so she had time to process the info, give her a few days to let the excitement settle so as to not feel the need to run and tell her friends. We pressed to her that sex is a very grown up thing to know about, something you don't tell your friends about, and that if she knew this grown up info she had to be 'grown up' enough to keep the info a secret. I really felt that she was to young to know, but I strongly felt that she should not only know the truth about sex but she should hear it from ME, not her friends....
    brandy0827

    Answer by brandy0827 at 3:03 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • CONT...
    She handled it very well and did not discuss it with her friends. She said that when the subject came up with other children she either stayed out of it or said she didn't want to talk about it. She felt VERY proud that she knew about this grown up 'secret' and her friends did not. It made her feel more mature, and grown up than her friends.
    I'm sorry that this story was soooo long, but the point of my story and opinion is that kids are wondering about sex and talking about sex younger and earlier than most of us had. I feel that even though it's shocking and uncomfortable for us, whether they are 5 or 15, they should hear it from us and talk to only us about the subject. Good luck!
    brandy0827

    Answer by brandy0827 at 3:11 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Just a thought but if you are waiting for another 5-7 years, that will put him at 10-12 yrs old and by then, chances are that he has or is close to having sex.

    While he doesn't need explicit information, he did ask about it and told you what he knew. In that event, he was wanting more information.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:36 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

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