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2 Bumps

No communication with FMIL

My FMIL has a strong dislike for me. I'm unsure til this day where it came from, but my fiance continues to say ' if it wasn't you it would've been someone else." However she continues to tell him-in front of me, 'You should have stayed with [your ex] she was so much more respectful" among other things she said. She had pictures of him with his ex up in her bedroom (she lived with us for a little while) and she even told him that he was an idiot to be with me because I'm only using him and controlling him. Little does she know I make twice as much as her son, so I have no reason to use him, hes been under his mothers wing his entire life, so he has no financial accomplishments like myself. So obviously I'm not with him for money or control. Her last words to him were, "i want to see you all in 3 months, you all wont make it, and you're an idiot because I guarantee you that baby isnt yours." I shrugged it off and told him, I will happily give her a dna test when my child is born, but then I decided I'm not. I don't have anything to prove to her because truthfully I dont want anything to do with her. She has belittled me since the beginning and disrespected our relationship , I told him he can go and visit her when she gets her own place, but she's no longer welcome at my house and around my child, because in her mind it isnt her grandchild anyway. He sort of got an attitude by me saying I didnt want any contact with her because he always wants me to turn the other cheek and let her do as she pleases. No more I did it for a year and Im done, when she gets herself together then she can come around but I don't want that negativity around me or my child. I understand his feelings of wanting the whole cute family picture but he didn't demand she respect our relationship she even told him in front of me that he has a hoe for a wife (where that came from I'm unsure, because I'm far from that) I said nothing back to her and he said nothing so he brought the entire thing on himself.

Answer Question
 
thelovelymzbre

Asked by thelovelymzbre at 11:15 AM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • This woman doesn't know the meaning of the word respect.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 11:20 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • If he won't stand up for you now before you're even married, believe me it won't change. After you get married it will hurt worse and make you more angry that your own husband cares about mommy's opinion more and her efforts to break you up might even become more pronounced. It sucks to be at odds all the time with your husband because of someone else.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:23 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • slapyour man needs to grow some nads and stand up to his mother. there is no way i would tolerate either one of my parents treating my man like that. if my MIL disrespected me like that; there is NO way her crusty behind would be living with us.. no way!! i would put her stuff out on the curb and she would not be allowed back in my house. she was a guest in your home and she needed to humble herself. thank God i have never had a MIL from hell because they would regret ever messing with me, i do not tolerate anyone's crap period !

    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:29 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Okay first I think you did the right thing not waiting for him to do it and most of all your continuing to do the right thing do not allow her to talk bad about you or your child and keep your head up !!
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:32 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • if he won't stand up for you, then you need to. and if he doesn't like it, then there's a bigger problem here.
    kittymeri

    Answer by kittymeri at 11:45 AM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • he has stood up to her numerous times when he does she threatens him, tells him how dare he put somepne before her, and disowns him but wen she comes crawling back he accepts her no apologies needed/
    thelovelymzbre

    Comment by thelovelymzbre (original poster) at 12:04 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Definitely counseling, it will help you both get a neutral opinion and the counselor will definitely be on your side with this issue. I have been in a similiar issue with in laws, but they are not mean to my face only behind my back so I cant defend myself. But I limit the time I spend with them and the time our DD spend with these nasty mean hearted people. You are right for your feelings and it is time to get the toxic people out of your life.
    Aries46845

    Answer by Aries46845 at 12:27 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Haha...my husband and I were in that same situation. My inlaws HATED me for a very long time. My fiance at the time lived and worked an hour and a half away from where i lived. They swore that I was obviously cheating on him when I got pregnant because "they don't know what I do when he's at work"... even though I was in college and working part time, AND already had a baby to take care of. They demanded a paternity test, we refused (our son was planned). They didn't help at all with our wedding or come to the wedding/reception. To this day I hate them for it. Things have gotten better in the last two years- but it took me having a stroke for them to finally realize that my husband is going to stick with me. I've done some pretty screwed up things, but my husband has stood by me. He is amazing for putting up with so much, I just wish his family would be more accepting.
    Momma24Cuties

    Answer by Momma24Cuties at 1:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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