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My daycare provider

I hope this is the right place to ask this.

I have made many mistakes in the past and am paying for them now, but yesterday I got a call that I wasn't expecting. My exbf called to let me know that my daycare provider was soon going to be watching his new baby. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He wanted to know when my kids are there and when I dropped them off and picked them up. I didn't know what to say. How could he even think this was going to be okay with me. I told him I didn't think it was going to be a good idea, but he said he really liked her and they know she is good with kids. I said I know she is that's why she has watched my kids for almost 4 years.

I called my daycare provider to ask her about this. She said she was going to talk to me about this but just hadn't got to since I am out of town right now. I told her I just couldn't do it and it is her decision, but if she chooses to watch his kid, then I will have to find someone else. She said not to worry about it, but I don't know. The thought that she would have thought I would be okay with this bothers me.

My daycare provider doesn't know much about my relationship with this guy, but I left my husband for him. I thought he was who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Then I find out he left me for someone else, not sure if it's his kids mom or not. When he left it was so hard on me and my kids.

What would you do or have done? My kids are happy where they are, but I almost feel like I can't trust her anymore. Would you find a new daycare?

I hope that all make since. Thanks mommas!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • If she takes his child, I would find a new provider, for your sake. Maybe she won't take him at all, and you won't have to worry about it.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:49 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I wouldn't blame her- how would she know of all your personal baggage?? If you're that happy with her I would keep her and try to avoid the times they pick up and drop off. If it just bothers you too much and she ends up taking his family (which she may not) then I guess you'd have to move on. Maybe you're worrying for nothing and like she said she she won't take them on.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:55 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • She can't be to blame for taking on a new client.  Is she being professional about it?  As long as she isn't reporting anything to either one of EXCEPT for what is going on with your OWN child then yes, I would stick with her. She is not your personal nanny, she has the right to choose her own clients. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:55 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • If she is that good of a daycare provider, maybe nothing bad will come of it. I don't know... maybe give it a try and see what happens? If it turns out that it's not going well after a couple of weeks, then look for something else. I know it's not easy to find a good daycare in most places... I wouldn't want to give up someone who is clearly good at what she's doing.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 12:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Depends on how easy it is to find a new provider..I live in an area where the providers are scarce. She was yours first and why is he wanting her in the first place? sure she is good but he can go elsewhere...sure he isn't just using the same provider to find a way to stay in touch but indirectly?
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • If she doesn't take his kid then I would let it go, there is no way for her to know your past history with him or how upsetting this would be to you. I don't think you should feel like you can't trust her. If there wasn't a bad past between the two of you then it might not even have been a big deal in her mind. If she accepts his kid then I would look for someplace else so you don't have to see him everyday and so your kids don't see him and get confused.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:58 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • She's in the daycare business, she has to do what is best for her. She doesn't know the history between you two, and even if she did it's not her problem. If your children are in good care, leave them. You both have obviously moved on with your lives. You will have to learn how to co-exist.
    August07Mom

    Answer by August07Mom at 1:00 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Why are you so concerned? He is just your exbf, not husband. It's called being mature. I'm sorry, but you know your provider is good with kids, why wouldn't you want someone elses kid to have just as good of care as yours are getting? The only thing I would do is try and plan out what time you will be therre picking up your kids, that way you don't have to see him.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 1:05 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I agree with the previous response. You, as an adult, should be quite capable of being civil for the sake of your kids. Why bother making them get used to a new daycare provider when she isn't doing anything wrong? It's not like you have to sit and have a conversation with him if you bump into him when he is picking up his child. If you switched providers just because of this, I'd say it'd be an immature move.
    Momma24Cuties

    Answer by Momma24Cuties at 1:29 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • She has to make money like the rest of us. If your not comfortable with it just find somewhere else. It's not the child's fault either. If she is so good, the other child should be able to experience it.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 1:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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