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What should I do, when husband verbally abuses with nasty comments?? :(

My husband of 2 years, is a verbal abuser. More so, when drinking is involved. Recently, it escalated when he threw beer cans at my head, and he apologized and promised would'nt get like that. Well, last night, he stopped by friends house, and had some beers. Comes home, and starts a fight b/c I made the garbage can too heavy....ok, then from arguing about stupid cans, it goes to he is the wrong man for me, i am the cause for all his problems(i work 40 hrs a week at min wage, plus have a 6yr old)that i am lazy to change my job for more money.(so not true) that he is a sucker( b/c he pays bills and has to fix things when they break)Isnt that what husbands are suppose to do. I pay bills also....(we dont even have a checking acct together) I own my place before I met him, and his name isnt on mortgage, and tells me he doesnt want it to be. That he just lives here and therefore since doesnt own, shouldnt be his problem about anything. That why should he do anymore for me, he just does what he has to....He pays electric, car insurance, and lot rent. I pay phone bill, big car payment, daycare for my child, credit card bills and food! He is highly stressed....and takes it out on me about money problems...dont know what to do.....He tells me e is broke b/c of me.....Before he met me, lived in a one room place and everything was included. Now he is married and tells me he wishes he had his life back. Its very hurtful

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • Kick his ass out. You deserve to be happy and being mentally abused by your husband is not conducive to that. Get a roommate and kick him to the curb!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:07 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Tell him he is right - he IS the wrong ''man'' for you and throw his stupid-a$$ out!
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 2:10 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Move on. I've been there. Not healthy for you, or your child. It will be hard at first, but is so much better and easier. And you are working, you don't need him or his money!!
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 2:10 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Uhm....You should not be with someone that makes you feel like that.

    My mom had a drinking problem growing up and said horribly hurtful things when she was drinking, but when she was sober told me that she didn't mean any of them. It was a Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde thing. It was very upsetting. I can tell you having lived through it alcohol is NO EXCUSE for being like that. If you know you turn into a dick when you drink....then don't F****ing DRINK!

    I would file for divorce and "give him his life back" since he wants it so badly. Maybe then he will realize that he has a problem and needs to go fix it before he gets into anyone else's life.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 2:10 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I agree if you are the "cause" of all his problems solve the problem for him. Tell him he doesn't have to fix shit there is the door you will leave his personal belongings on the porch so he can get them when he pleases and change the locks
    StefInfection

    Answer by StefInfection at 2:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • He's out.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I know.....but this may sound cliche, I love him....I just keep hoping he will change
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Tell him to kick rocks you can do better on your own. You truly do not need to take a minute of this from him.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:12 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • So what do you actually want to gain by posting this question?  I ask this because you have plenty of women here telling you that it's not okay and then you say that you just keep hoping that he will change.  Do you want someone to tell you that he WILL in fact change?  That it's OKAY to take that kind of abuse?  Get some self esteem gf, he is a loser.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I know.....but this may sound cliche, I love him....I just keep hoping he will change
    ________
    I understand, I thought the same thing once--but chances are he WILL change, but not for the better. He's already thrown beer cans at you, it gets worse from there. You may love him, but this is toxic. You need to ask yourself--is this what you want for you? Or better, is this how you want your child raised?
    If you can't kick him out for you, do it for your child. Trust me, this isn't an environment you want a child to be raised.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 2:16 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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