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2 Bumps

strong feeling toward my husband

ok I love my husband dont get me wrong he is the love of my life and he is the supporter of my family while I stay home with the 3 kids, 5yr 2yr and 3 months. but lately I work so hard at keeping the house clean and it seems to be harder with another kid. and everything I have to go do during the day and then I try to have dinner started or planned out when he gets off. but lately I dont want to do anything for him not even sex, I dont want him to touch me. and its just him I am fine when he is at work but when he comes home I want nothing to do with him. not in the mood to clean or cook. I tried to talk to him about it but he isnt understanding and tells me I am fine, but I am not HE PISSES ME OFF. my dr told me everything is ok its just my hormons from being pregnant and getting fixed. but I dont think so Now What?

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SkylaReneeMom

Asked by SkylaReneeMom at 3:30 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,654 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Could it be that when he gets home, you are expected to do it all? Does he pitch in and help out or does he just come home and 'relax' and do nothing else?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Thats a tough one. I say you have 2 options. 1. give it some time see if things even out, very well could be hormones. 2. Seek counsaling. You can also seek counsaling if you want to try option 1 first too.
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Do you have postpartum depression? If you do, it's nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to assert yourself with your doctor.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I went to see a counselor when I felt this way, just someone to talk with. I have felt this way, but my DH works from home at times so mine was the opposite..... I never got time alone!
    idaspida

    Answer by idaspida at 3:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I would suspect that you aren't getting all the emotional support from him that you would like to have, and that has made you angry toward him. It's kind of a two-edged sword, because with 3 little children, my guess is that you aren't really spending any extra time making the hubby feel special either. You are cleaning the house and fixing dinner, and he is probably not noticing the way you would like him to. My husband once told me that I needed to tell him exactly what I needed from him. (I was pretty much in the same shape as you are in right now.) When I began to think about how I could answer his question, I found it was really hard to put into words what I needed from him. So you may have to spend some time thinking about it, too. But men are pretty much clueless when it comes to figuring these things out for themselves, but if you will tell him one thing you need from him, I will bet you get it. Anger will depart!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I totally understand, I started staying home after my 3rd child was born so I was home alone with a 4 yr, 2 yr and a baby. I got to the point where it was easier to do things with the kids and myself because when my husband was there we always got into a fight. It took a lot of talking and figuring out what was going on and what was best. I think it is hard when you stay home with your kids because you develope a routine and when your DH is there he disrupts that.

    I would try talking to him again and I would also suggest finding time for yourself. I started going to play group and making friends with other moms. Then once a month we get together and I also can call them anytime. It has really helped me and made life better. NOw that my kids are older things are great and I have lots of friends that i talk with.

    Good Luck and try take a deep breath.
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 3:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I have had those days/weeks... sometimes I feel like I miss him during the day but as soon as he steps foot through the door I'm totally over it and wish he'd go do something (read a book, watch a movie, leave the house!!) and not even talk to me.
    When I get to feeling like that I try to remind myself that I do love him and try to get over myself. I encourage him to call up friends and go out for a while, enjoy himself and give me some space.
    Usually I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed and needing some 'me' time, so I go take a bubble bath and listen to some music, read a book, and when I'm feeling up to it I'll look at some pictures from our wedding, or pictures of us with our family, or read old little love letters/cards.
    If you're still feeling like he's being frustrating, try to figure out one thing exactly that's irritating you and talk to him about that one thing.
    All else fails, seek couples counseling!
    hippomom1919

    Answer by hippomom1919 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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