Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is my 12 year old son too young to have a girlsfriend?

My son is only 12 and he says he has a girlfriend, i know this girl and for her age i think she's very mature and i don't know if i should prohibit this friendship or what!!! moms i need ur advises. Pleeeaaasse!!!!!

Answer Question
 
nuby

Asked by nuby at 5:28 PM on Nov. 15, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I lost my virginity at 13. But, I think he's 12...they're going to be "boyfriend, girlfriend" whether it's in front of you or behind your back. I would let it happen and just monitor it. It will fizzle out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • My son's are 17 and 15 so I've been there. They both currently have girlfriends. You have to limit time without them catching on and you also have to communicate to them that they are not allowed in either home alone. Boys will be boys.....argh! Spend time with them together and let your presence be known. Also, if you tell him that he can't see her...remember when you were a kid and you'll have your answer there...If you say he can't ~ that's a sure fire way of him saying he can and he may go behind your back and have a girlfriend anyway. If you've laid a good moral foundation, which I'm sure you have, then he'll be fine Mom.
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 5:35 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I would say it is a privilage and that if he has been hiding it then that would be the first sign he is not mature enough. If he came out and told you then I would say okay but take the time to talk about sex and what you expect of him. What are your moral thoughts on this and such, then you need set down rules,like when he can spend time with her and how much and so n.
    samesexmarriage

    Answer by samesexmarriage at 5:37 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • yes it's too young. my son has this same issue too. i would talk with him on why you don't think she should have one and tell him to break it off. although they can still carry on while at school. girls now days are looking for male figures to fill in their lives and will sleep with a boy if they think they love them. the fact that your asking tells me that you don't want this to happen. so don't bend on your standards and values. raise a boy you can be proud of when they turn into a man.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:29 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I've gone through this with my 11 year old daughter, she is now 12. I pretty much ignored the whole boyfriend thing because she wasn't allowed to date, so the only time she would see him was in school. Some of her friends are allowed to date, they are making out in theaters, in friends basements and in parks, some have even started oral sex. I've talked to my daughter about the behavior of her exfriends and she seems to understand why I am against dating at such a young age. Kids at this age can easily be pressured into doing things that they are not ready for. If he sees this girl outside of school make sure that there is an appropriate adult supervising.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • I do not think there is anything wrong with him having a girl friend. Talking to her or emailing her. I know that my son has a girl friend and although I am okay with it I do not think he should be going on dates and that sort of thing. I think that it is more then likely just a harmless relationship.

    I would talk to him and see what he thinks about the relationship and what his thoughts are. I have told my son that it is okay to like girls you just have to be careful and not to forward.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 3:37 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Of course, as a mom, you have to the right to do what you think is best. Personally, I would not prohibit it, but I WOULD lay out some ground rules and talk to him about it. Be honest about your concerns. he may be embarrassed, but at least he will know where you stand and that you are NOT afraid or intimidated to talk to him about such things!
    cristie1276

    Answer by cristie1276 at 5:22 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • To melody77: You have a very cynical outlook. Do you remember being 12 years old? I had "boyfriends" at school. They walked me to class. I was not looking to fill a void and I had no desire to sleep with any of them.
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 4:22 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Only you can decide what you want your son to do. But I do not see a problem with it. The more you tell them "no" the more they will lie to you. As long as you set the rules and they understand they are to be followed, I don't see an issue. Good luck!
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 4:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My 11 yr. old son just came home yesterday & was excited to tell me that he had a girlfriend. I felt alittle uncomfortable with it, just because I feel like the next time I blink my eyes he's going to be 18 & not my little boy anymore. I asked him what he thought having a girlfriend meant, & he said that it means he likes hanging out with her & thinks she is pretty & she likes hanging out with him & thinks he is cute. So I asked him what do you do when you have a girlfriend, he said "we have a date tomorrow. We're just going to meet up on the playground and hangout together, mom! Instead of playing soccer I just want to sit & talk with her at recess" My husband reminded me that at this age, they are still very unsure of how "girlfriend/boyfriends" work & they are just feeling it out. But like others have said you have to decide what is best for your son, I am just glad I am not the only one going threw this! :) Good luck!!
    Inkedmommy007

    Answer by Inkedmommy007 at 10:58 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN