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4 Bumps

This is a comment from another post....

I would continue to love my children even if they said that they were gay. However I would not accept their sexual orientation or allow them to bring their partner around the house.

I always assumed that most of us have unconditional love for our kids, if one does not accept who their kids are and refuse to participate in their life with their partner, how can anyone classify this as love?, is this unconditional love or do some of us put conditions in our love for our children? Do these parents not realize the hurt this would cause their children, not being able to share their adult lives with them? only because their parents can't or won't accept who they are?


Asked by older at 4:44 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (25)
  • good


    Answer by CraftingMama at 4:46 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • you will always love your children, but you don't have to love the choices they make or think they're right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • It works the same as anything else you don't agree with or believe in.

    You may not agree with homosexuals, drinking, smoking, drugs, goths, democrats, republicans, etc...(wide range of things to prove a point). Whatever it is you don't agree with/believe in, you do not have to allow in your home. Whether you feel that is right or not doesn't matter I guess. What matters is that the woman that said that has a conviction about something and it won't be tolerated in her home no matter who it is doing it.

    Answer by VintageWife at 4:51 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I actually have met many people who openly admit they would fully Disown their children for being gay.. I was shocked people even could think like this.. so sad...

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:48 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I have to agree with anon above. Loving someone doesn't mean you like or accept their choices. I would love my kids even if they robbed a bank or shot someone, but that doesn't mean I would support that choice.

    I do think it's wrong not to support this particular choice (since I don't even believe that it is a choice), but that's not my decision to make for other parents.

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 4:51 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Well I love my kids unconditionally and I know my parents love me the same, but there are some things I can do that would make them not accept my life or lifestyle, or even my partner of choice. I dont see much difference in that. When I was young I was with someone they did not approve of. He wasnt allowed in their home. End of story. They still loved me. They just didnt accept the person I loved. I was an adult, and I accepted their right to disagree with my choices. I dont think it makes a parent love their children any less.


    Answer by gemgem at 4:56 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I would not sever my relationship with my child if she were gay, but for some people, they feel so strongly in their hearts that it's wrong, that they can't tolerate being around it. I know people like this in real life, and it just hurts them to the core that a loved one is gay, because they believe that it means that person will go to hell. And they feel like if they allow the partner around, they're condoning and supporting it. I also know a couple who very strongly believes that homosexuality is wrong, but their adult daughter is gay and they chose to more or less accept it so they would not lose their relationship with her. She brings her partner to their house, and they're very kind to both of them in spite of their religious convictions, so good for them. I think it still hurts their daughter because she knows in their hearts, they really don't "approve", but I give kudos to them for trying and I'm she does, too.

    Answer by vicesix at 7:54 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • my mother has nothing to do with me because of who i married and no i am not gay. does that mean she doesn't love me??? NO i know she still does, but has to make choices for her that work best for her and make her feel comfortable. my mother and i have no relationship and the way i see it is her loss, but do i love her any less of course not. people make dumb decisions doesn't mean you stop loving them because they made a mistake. If someone still loves you after you have made that mistake or keep making that mistake that is unconditional love in my eyes you keep giving love even if you don't receive any in return. Newborns and children don't always show they love you and sometimes they might even say something mean to you, but in return you keep showing them love that is unconditional love.

    Answer by mrssundin at 9:49 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I think it is really sad that there are parents who would deliberately hurt their own children like that.

    My MIL doesn't like or approve of homosexuality because she does believe it is a sin, however, my youngest SIL's partner is welcomed and loved by MIL because MIL knows that SIL's partner loves and cares very deeply for her daughter.

    Why can't other parents be like that?

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 9:50 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Like I told my husband, I would love and accept my kids if they were gay... but I am selfish and would "feel" let down because I wanna someday be a grandma, and have lil babies running around, and them chosing a life style where I can't spoil their kids (take opposite sex to make one).... but would still love and accept them. I tease hubby that with three children I have more than a single shot/chance... so not terribly worried about it

    And we have a few gay couples sprinkled in the tree... so, HELL NO, unlike my husband's aunt, a dog is not going to be accepted as a darn grandchild!!! Better be HUMAN!!!

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 1, 2011