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2 Bumps

Is there any way I can get help to care for my disabled DD? Is anyone going through the same thing??

My DD is 9 but cannot walk, talk and is confined to a wheelchair. I have 2 older girls and 3 younger girls. 15,14,8,6 and 3. They barely get attention because I have to spend so much time wit their sister. I don't want my older ones to have to raise the younger as they are doing now and my husband wanted a big family before he left me a few years ago. He now doesn't even keep in contact. We're devastated and I'm worn out and having trouble keeping smiling everyday.

I hate asking for help. I'm embarrassed and I feel weird doing it because everyone said that it was our fault because we shouldn't have had more afterwards and should have devoted our lives to our 9 yr old DD but my husband thought that we should carry on with the plan of a big family. I love them all so much that I could never regret that decision but with him gone we just can't cope. I barely make it through each day and I'm often ill and run down,
Anyone can suggest anything or tips??

I'm sorry about how much this may be incoherent. I'm just tired and grumpy and probably sound like an idiot.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Oh mom....dont bash yourself so badly!!! You are for SURE worn out.

    And dont feel badly for your other kids either...having a sis with special needs can really turn them into some loving caring individuals who see needs in others and want to help....it can be a GREAT benefit to them!

    I understand not wanting to put too much on them, but at the same time...the trust and reliance on them can grow great women :)

    You need help...you need a break! Are there any family members who can give you a weekly break....at least to get out...do some fun shopping..take your other girls out for a treat...anything?

    If not, what about your insurance...would it cover a nurse to come in one day a week to help carry your load...dont be ashamed...you have a lot on your plate!

    I am in awe of your strength!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 5:58 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • do you qualify for respite care?
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 5:58 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • look into getting home care for your daughter, she should be able to get it through government help she should be getting medicade and ssi too.
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 6:17 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I don't know what state you are in, but assistance can vary by state. I know where I live (southeastern PA) you can get funding through the counties for several hours of care a week. This funding can vary based on need. Find out who does case management in your county and see if this is available for you. You might be able to get respite care and even a community specialist to come to your house for several hours a week to help you with her care.

    And don't feel guilty. You have a great family and you are a great mom. We all get worn down once in awhile.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:33 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Where are u at(what state)?
    kathynej7142007

    Answer by kathynej7142007 at 7:20 PM on Feb. 1, 2011