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4 Bumps

Can my ex husband get custody of my son because of previous drug use?

Before my son was born (years and years before) I used to be addicted to pot - as did my husband, may I add. As I stopped 1 year before my son was born and have not touched any since. My ex, however, has videos of this and says he will show it to the courts and get custody of my little one. Me and my husband split because he was violent but I have no evidence of this and he does have evidence of me smoking drugs with no time or date discernible on them. (around 4 years ago)

Will he get custody of my son? I swear I would run away before I let him get custody, he's violent and often depressive. However he has never shown evidence of it.

Please help, I'm desperate. I would never do anything to jeopardize my son and his well being and I have my own business, a stable life and am financially stable. Ladies, what can I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I truly think he is bluffing. But go talk to a lawyer. See what he/she says.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:14 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • ALl he could do is report you to CPS -- if they decided to investigate, they would request a drug-test -- which you would pass -- then no problems. I place children for them and can tell you from experience that they DO NOT take children because of things you did in the PAST! In the meantime, he will look crazy for taping you (without your permission) -- 4 years ago. Then you can sue him for taping you without your knowledge and consent. Good Luck!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 6:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • If it is before your son was born, they won't care. The most they will do is order you to do a drug test.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:14 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Drug use from before your son was even born will likely not even be allowed to be shown to the judge. If it is, they will have to prove that you used while pregnant - something you can easily refute if they screened you for drugs (as many doctors routinely do).

    Truly, I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you, scare you into staying. 99% of the time the mother gets custody of the child(ren) in US courts. Don't sweat it. Make sure you file first, so he has to defend against anything you claim.

    Answer by Scuba at 6:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Sorry. I didn't realize you were already divorced? In any case, you still have nothing to worry about.

    Answer by Scuba at 6:17 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • it might be a deciding factor but i dont think he will get custody. just prove that your clean by taking a drug test right then and there.

    Answer by mrssundin at 6:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • You cannot lose custody of your past choices. He can try but he will lose. Get an attorney and protect yourself and your children. I would also tell the attorney about him videotaping you without your permission, what he is doing could be considered blackmail.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:41 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • No. It will have VERY LITTLE merrit since it happen before you had your son. Find character witnesses who can atest to your clean life style.

    A friend of mine who had her baby at 15 was taken to court by her ex who was mad so he wanted custody (he was a drug deal so she was refusing) and he had a picture of her smoking pot WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT.

    Not only did he NOT get custody but he only got supervised visitation. The court said that basically since the baby wasn't born yet it wasn't considered abuse.

    Since you haven't done it since a YEAR BEFORE you got pregnant...I really don't think this is going to be an issue for you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Feb. 1, 2011