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8 Bumps

How do I confront my son PLEASE HELP adult content

I just read a note from my 15 year old son's jeans pocket (I was doing the wash, not snooping) from his girlfriend . It talks about them having oral sex, in VERY great detail. I am single (his dad and I aren't together and he is in the military and will be out of contact for a least a couple weeks) I know I have to talk to him about it but I have no idea what to say. I never thought I would have to worry about this so early. His dad has had the sex talk with him but I think it was just a brief "how things work" kinda deal. I am so freaked out, trust me, you would be to if you read the note. No mom wants to read a note that talks about her son exploding in some girl's mouth (that was the cleanest part of the note)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I think you did pretty well. Continue to have open communication with him about it. Ask him if he needs any more information, if there's anything he doesn't understand. Explain to him that condoms are not 100 percent and that she could still get pregnant. Talk to him about ALL aspects and ask him what having sex means to him.
    heatherann0221

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 7:37 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... I have a 15 year old and this is actually one of my fears, hope others here can help? Most I can add is that maybe you sit down and talk to him? Better than nothing, and explain the horrors of being that close wit someone... like disease and babies???
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 8:18 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • If he wants to behave like an adult then you should talk to him like you would talk to an adult. Give him facts, not opinions.

    Fact 1 in 6 Americans has Herpes. He can visit the CDC website.
    Fact: a baby costs about $35,000 in the first year of life (maternity care, delivery, diapers, food, clothing, health care, etc)

    Then ask him what his plans are to prevent getting herpes and spending $35k that he doesn't have. Do more listening and less talking. Silence makes the reality sink in really really deep.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 8:23 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I would hand him the note back and simply say "we need to talk". Then you just see where that takes you. Good luck Mom!! Hugs!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:21 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • just be open an upfront with him bout an express ur concerns! open communication is the best especially at this day in age, plus by doing this it will show him u care an then hopefuly he will be able to come to u under any circumstance!
    heiditr

    Answer by heiditr at 8:19 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Just be open about if he knows your uncomfortable then it will make him uncomfortable and although he left the note in his jeans and that's how you found it he is going to feel like it was an invasion of privacy so be prepared for that fight too, but be cool about it toss the letter to him and say hey look what i found in the laundry can we talk about it?

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 8:22 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Ok, I know we can't control our teens 24/7 BUT we are their examples! It's his choice to have sex, but it's your job as the parent to teach him what comes with sex, the risk of pregnancy, that it can happen even if you use protection, the emotional responsibility that comes with sex, how it affects teen girls emotionally, STDS, not to just have sex with anyone, make sure you care about the person, etc. Why do we just have to hand our kids condoms and say have fun? I hope if my kids do go against my wishes to have sex before they are 18 they do use protection, but I'm hoping I have instilled good values, and trust with them by then that they can make the best choice. I'm sorry but I'm not going to light the candles for them and pour the champagne. But I do want my kids to be able to come to me even if they do make a poor choice.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:53 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Soooo, you didn't talk to him about responsibilty? Just protection? He just asked you for pointers? Seriously? I really hope he understands that birthcontrol is NOT 100% effective. Only abstinence. Are you ready to be a grandma?Did you ask him what he would do if he got her pregnant? How do you know if she's on the pill? How the hell is your son going to know? Although it's great to see he's comfortable talking with you, 15 isn't emotionally ready for sex of any kind. I'm not trying to be rude, but it really seems like you are leaving an awful lot up to him to figure out.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:42 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Honestly I think the best thing to do would be to give him some condoms and tell him you want him to be safe if he decides to have sex. You can't really stop him, so making sure he understands the consequences of unprotected sex and that he has access to condoms is what my concern would be right now.
    skellams

    Answer by skellams at 8:22 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • For me I would sit down and have a frank discussion considering he has been sexually active, I would lay it all out- disease and all those things. And prevention. He is going to do it whether you say no or not. But , I would say that you do not want him to be doing these things yet. Let him know, even though he is only 15 talk to him about everything. This is a hard part of parenting. Good Luck
    Kelly2573

    Answer by Kelly2573 at 8:23 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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