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***** drives me crazy!

I have been talking to this guy I work with for 3 weeks. We both want to take things slow. He is talking to other girls (some online, some in person in the area..I being one of them in person). He says he wants a relationship but, wants to take things slow b.c he has some things comming up he needs to deal with in his life. Then, he will say he wants a relationship but, not right now b.c he doesnt want to mess up the next one he gets himself into. We have been talking 3 weeks. slept together once. We both have children. We both have been divorced.
Sometimes, talking to him is like hitting a BRICK wall, full force. Pretty much his "answer" to the majority of my questions is "I want to go day by day. See what happens."

What the hell is the real deal?

I feel like I am complicating things b.c I want soooo bad to be with him, BUT, I also want to badly slow down and take things daily.

Any advice?

We have both been hurt in the past by emotionally abusive individuals.


Asked by CandyHorse at 8:32 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,309 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Your story sounds alot like mine did before my SO and I were committed. He had a lot of friends online and would tell me the same song and dance about taking it one day at a time and he sucks at relationships, etc... well, I decided that I didn't want to be "friends w/benefits" any longer, so, I took it upon myself not to call or text him as often as I had done, made him contact me and wouldn't respond as quickly as I would in the past, he started to notice the guys on my FB page and how I wasn't at his beck and call. I turned him down a few times for dates on weekends (even if i didn't have anything going on). It was REALLY hard to play hard to get but some guys need a reality check and their eggo's go down a notch. GL!!!

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 11:15 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Sleeping with each other so soon is not taking it slow.


    Answer by Simplicity3 at 8:35 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Look at your post. You have been talking for only three weeks. What in the world do you want? He says he wants to take it slow!
    I think he has told you what he wants. You are acting desperate for a relationship. Slow down. You are just going to make him take off.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:37 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Sounds to me like he is PLAYING THE GAME. He is giving you those reasons b/c that means if he gets caught out with another girl it's not cheating. I would tell him that you like him and are interested in pursuing where things might lead but dont' sleep with him anymore unless he decides to be with you exclusively. There are too many risks in that and that will give him some incentive to make a decision.

    Answer by huntin_mama at 8:49 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Whats the rush?? Enjoy his company. Try to see him with his friends, family, etc... as a friend. No point to getting too attached to someone who just really wants to sleep around, when you don't. slow down.

    Answer by nonni2 at 9:01 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Been there before...he's just playing the field. He'll keep saying this until he finds something better.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:00 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • don't put all of your eggs in one basket. date other men, see what else is out there;;he is doing just that so why can't you?

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:48 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Seems like you want more out of this then him either talk about it and get to the bottom of or move on

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 8:34 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • We agreed about the sex = not slow. it definetely was NOT planned.
    But, he texts me each day since we have to see how I am and all. He even texted me good morning on our way to work. We talk on a daily basis. He says he wants me but, he doesnt want to screw everything up if we go all out.

    Comment by CandyHorse (original poster) at 8:38 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I definely agree tootoobusy. Thats how I feel like I have been going.

    Comment by CandyHorse (original poster) at 8:39 PM on Feb. 1, 2011