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6 Bumps

GRRR. What would you do ?

So around November 2009 ( so over a year ago ) , my brother's girlfriend gave my daughters a box full of Barbies ( and barbie clothes and such) most of them from the early 90s but they are now their favorites ( I think it is all the extra makup and the fake diamonds they wear lol ) ...she also gave them about 5 or 6 old disney movies ( mostly princess movies) and they watch them over and over a few times a week.

Of course when she gave them to my girls she didnt say anything about giving them back - she actually said that she wants them to have them because she loves them and has no room ( they were moving into a smaller place) .... At the same time she also gave several other things to my younger ( but older than my daughters) cousin.


Now she is pregnant ( doesnt know if it is a girl yet - she is only 7 weeks) ...and now she wants everything back so she can save them for her baby. At first I just told her that my girls would be really upset since they play with and watch them all the time, and that by the time her kid is old enough to play with them, my girls would have outgrown them...

but she wont give it a rest, technically they are my daughters, she gave them to them, she didnt say they can borrow them, she said they can have them. My brother even told her to let it go ( they dont even know if they have a girl yet and they already said if it is a boy they do not want him around girly things) .... but she wont, she constantly whines about it and I am to the point to where I am basically ignoring her ( not answering her calls or facebook messages) she actually tries to start arguments over it and has even called me names.

I dont think I should have to give them back and how would I explain that to my daughters? And it isnt like I am telling her ou can never hav them, I told her what would work best for both of us - my girls can keep them until her MAYBE girl is old enough to play with them and i think that is fair !!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Feb. 1, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (35)
  • Just let he know that you are not taking them away from your little ones. Giving and taking things back is not one of the principles that you want to teach them. If she would like them back when they grow out of them then so be it but until then drop the subject.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:18 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • her
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 10:19 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • They no longer belong to her, she gave them to your girls. IF she has a girl, by the time she is old enough to use them or watch the movies, they will be worn out and out of date (the movies). I would just ignore her.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:23 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • Keep them. She'll get over it. Like you said, she gave them to you. And taking something away from children is just going to cause unwanted problems.
    And like you said, she'll get them back if and when she has a baby girl, and when your girls outgrow them.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 10:26 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • You can do a couple of things here - you can ignore her and basically end the relationship with her. You can chalk it up to pg hormones, and tell her "you know what, when the baby is born, how about we talk about it then..." Or, if it gets too bad, you can look her in the eye and say "you know, I understand wanting to pass them on to your kids, but you chose to give them away. I'm willing to give them back to you when / if you have a dd old enough for them. But, if you're willing to give a gift to children then, once they fall in love with it, TAKE it from them, then maybe you need to re-think what your priorities are going to be when you're a parent... Then, you ask her, point blank, if having them back NOW is worth having her nieces - children that are going to her her child's cousin - hurt by her actions and not trust her - or her gifts - ever again?

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:27 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I think that you are completely right. I would not give them back right now. I would try having your brother explain it to her again. Maybe she will listen better this time.
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 10:27 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I agree with you...thats just mean to give them and try to take them back! i would be we can give them back when your daughter is old enough to play with them and that is generous because they now belong to your girls!
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 10:27 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • cont -

    If she still wants them back, either cut her out of your life, block her on fb, etc (and risk not seeing your new niece or nephew), or you do something like this -

    You go to the store and buy your dd's some barbies and stuff. You then call her and tell her to come over, and to sit down and shut up and stay quiet, because she's already hurting your girls and you don't trust her to not make it worse - then you call your girls in, you explain that some people are nice and give presents, and some people are not - even when you think they are. That Aunt ___ has decided that she doesn't want to share, and she would like her toys back, but that you bought them these toys, that they will always get to keep. You look her in the eye, you give them to her, and you tell her that since she can't be trusted to not hurt your kids anymore, she isn't to give them stuff again.

    Personally, I would keep them and ignore her though
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:31 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • OH - one other thought - you should tell her that you were under the impression that they were a GIFT to your girls - you didn't understand that you were just storing them for them, since they were moving into a smaller place and all.... Explain that you will GLADLY return her stuff to her, once she pays the STORAGE FEES.... Tell her she owes you the price of a small storage locker, times the number of months that the items were in your house, and throw in that you're willing to overlook any interest or late payment fees, since your dd's got to play with them while you were STORING them....

    See what she says to THAT!

    Sorry - but this sort of thing - and the type of person who does it - really makes me mad!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:34 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

  • I don't see why she would even want them now. Why don't you say that if she has a girl, you will give the things back when she is old enough to play with them. I was nice of her to give your dds things but that doesn't' mean she can take them back
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:35 PM on Feb. 1, 2011

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