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When doctors and schools say you have a right not to medicate your child, it isn't always true because of this:

Everytime I'm told by a doctor or the school I have a right to refuse medication for my child and when I choose not to medicate them, I'm given the 411 of heart from both the doctor and the school. I'm told he need medication: he can't function or will not be function. I'm told from the school he's defiant and causes problems for all the others. I'm looked down on by these group of professionals if I don't medicate my child. I'm judged as a bad parent. Example: My child has ADHD, and the school pretty much wants him to be able to set still, focus in perfection, and have a behavior conduct like a normal child who does not suffer from behavior problems. I'm pressured in so many ways, that it forces me to medicate him. This is because people wants medication to babysit and make the kids behave right. So you see, really parents don't have that right, even though it's a legal right. You know rights that's right but don't make it right. In my child's case, not every alternatives been tried and implemented for my child. I feel that if every alternative have been exercise and tried on my child and still don't work, then considering medication would be considered.

 
ladynell4god

Asked by ladynell4god at 12:05 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I feel for you. My son has sensory processing disorder. It was really dificult for him to get used to his jk classroom. It was very bright/loud/overwhelming to him, and at age four the only way he knew to cope with that was to act out. I was shocked at how unwilling the teacher was to help him to habituate to the situation. On day four of school she told me that my son was 'not normal' in her 'experience as a teacher and a parent' and suggested I go and talk to my family doctor about what I could do to make their job easier. I took him home in total shock, decided that my role in this situation was to be my son's advocate, and went back with guns blazing the next day. Ultimately my son adjusted to kindergarten, the teacher and I learned to work together productively, and all was well, but it was a shock how fast they were to label him and ask me to 'fix' him for them rather than working WITH him to make things work.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 12:33 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • why dont you home school?
    if you can do it better then do it--
    or
    put him in a private school designed for his needs to be met?

    whatever you do keep in mind that it is YOUR responsibility to help your Son or Daughter--

    I wouldnt medicate either but I certainly would not be ok with my child being disruptive to other kids education--
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 12:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • As a mother of a child with ADHD and a teacher to children with ADHD I can honestly say that I see both sides. As a parent it's hard to hear constant criticism of your child and to be objective about it. I do agree that there are alternatives to medication but you have to be willing to implement them 100% both at home and with the school. You need to be on the same page as the school and working towards a common goal. From the teacher standpoint they need to be able to find a way to have your child be successful as well as the other kids in the class. ADHD is not an excuse to not follow the rules or to be disruptive. Your child may need alternative rules, rewards and consequences compared to the rest of the class. I would suggest meeting with the school and coming up with a plan that you all can agree on.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:30 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • its a long road , patience is needed , you know your child better than anyone , be open minded , whats best for your SONS COMFORT and daily life.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:12 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • you as the parent need to fight for your child if you feel every avenue hasn't been tried yet and not cave. I'm not trying to be rude but as a special education teacher I get offended when I hear parents blaming the school for their child's problems. The school did not medicate your child, you did. If you don't want him on medication take him off, demand a meeting, listen to what the professionals have to say, and if you don't agree get a parent advocate and take the school to court. If your child is incapable of sitting still and is disrupting other students then the school has every right to be concerned, every child has a right to learn including yours and the others. If the school suggests something and you turn it down, but you don't offer other alternatives, then you're equally to blame. If it were my child I would call an IEP meeting and re-evaluate his struggles as well as the schools. You all need to work cont.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 12:13 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Well, you have a right to not give him medication but the other kids have the right to an education without one kid disrupting the class all the time and taking all the teacher's attention.

    So, what you really want is special treatment for your child...to be allowed to misbehave and disrupt the class without getting in trouble because he has attention deficit.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • The LEGAL right to refuse medication, just means there are no LEGAL consequenses for your actions or choice.

    I think you may have some misconceptions about ADD and the meds. My son chooses to take them. He was failing school, and couldn't finish anything. He's not a zombie, and it's not a babysitter. It helps him finish a thought before he gets another one so he can focus on work. He's not in trouble for being disruptive anymore and his grades are better. He wants it that way.

    Has your child been disruptive to the class? Is it affecting the way other children learn? Is your child not getting the education he should? I know it's not easy, but sometimes we have to look at the big picture here. What is it you want these teachers to do for you?

    I hope you can keep an open mind and at least listen to some of the pros to medication. It could mean everything to him later on in life!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • cont. together for the better of your child. And whether they pressure you or not ultimately no one can put him on meds but you. Stand up for your child and fight.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Con't. Like skittles said, for many behaviour management techniques to work, they need to be consistantly applied at home and at school. I was just surprised that the school was so quick to want to put it all back on me... there was no 'you know him best, what can we do to make this environment better for him?'- it was all 'you should go to your doctor and get some advice because this is not normal behaviour'... four days after meeting him!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 12:36 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

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