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2 Bumps

I really need some advice....

My son doesn't want to spend any time at home, he's rather be at his Grandfather's. I am very aware that he got out of the hospital two or three weeks ago and has to carry an IV around with him wherever he goes. If he has problems with his IV he should get a nurse to take care of it, NOT my 17 year old son. I swear his Grandfather has him wrapped around his little finger. If he calls my son, he expects him to come right over there. He doesn't live far from us, my son still doesn't drive, because he won't keep his grades up. But my whole point is the fact that when he's not in school or in bed, he is ALWAYS over there. I really think his Grandfather has become too dependent on him.

I mentioned this to my son Andrew tonight, and I told him that I was going to start picking him up from school and he had the nerve to tell me, "You're not picking me up from school. If you do, I'll quit first". I was so steamed at him that  I asked him if he wanted the cellphone taken away as well. He just walks off and goes in his room and slams the door. I ask him to watch out for his brother in the afternoons just in case I may be running a little late, and he has every excuse in the book for not being there. They both get home within 30 minutes or less from each other. I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I told his daddy that he needed to have a talk with his father about what is going on and the fact that he does have chores that are expected of him here as home as well. So when he called his dad, he sticks up for Andrew no matter what the situation is. His Grandfather said that if he drops out that he will take him to ACC so he can get his GED. That's not the point, the point is that he should be in school and that's where I want him to be. He thinks he's going to be handed everything in life and it just doesn't work that way. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I want is what's best for him, is that too much to ask? I don't want him to throw his life away. Not to mention his little brother wants to spend  some time with him, how can he when he's never there? I'm at a loss, I just don't know what to do anymore.

 
amessageofhope

Asked by amessageofhope at 12:20 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 23 (17,397 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Whenever I had issues with one of my boys I would take them to lunch or dinner, just the two of us and over our meal I would calmly discuss what was on my mind and allow them to speak. Getting them away from home they have no where to run and no doors to slam. We've always been able to work the situation out so that it pleases each other. GL
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:28 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I unlike you think that his taking care of his grandfather is admirable! Not too many kids his age take time out of their life to give it to an older person, he is obviously very close to him and feels good with him and helping, what in the world is wrong with this? If he is not doing his chores etc, maybe he should take his homework and school work to his grand fathers house and do it there, as far as home chores, I would give him a break for a while until his grand dad feels better. You fail to see the good part of this scenario, hopefully one day your grand kids will be as interested in you as he is with his.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:50 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I think you guys need to talk calmly he may feel obligated to help is grandfather, and you really need to watch out for the grandfather if he is willing to just take him to get the GED test he maybe encouraging your Son to drop out of school

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 12:34 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • What are his plans after high school? Americorp? Travel? University?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:35 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I think there's more going on than what you're telling or what you probably know. If he has chores to do around the house, then those chores should come first before going anywhere along with homework. I understand that the Grandfather is sick and maybe spending time with his Grandfather is something they both need. But I also feel that there's some other issues going on...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:04 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • call the school counselor
    chefjen

    Answer by chefjen at 2:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I agree with PP
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:25 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I agree with "older" You have obviously raised him to be caring and compassionate. Find a compromise that you can live with, but I think it's wonderful.
    katey1211

    Answer by katey1211 at 8:17 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Agree with the others that it's GREAT for him to be spending time with his grandfather. Let him do it and be thankful you have a good kid and he's not out doing bad things.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:16 PM on Feb. 5, 2011