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4 Bumps

my husband is a jerk?!

my husband doesnt apperciate anything i do. he thinks i just sleep in everyday and spend all my time doing nothing. im a stay at home mom and he is in the military. i cant help he does military stuff while im at home he acts as if there is no work to be done in a two story house. HOW CAN I GET HIM TO BE MORE APPECIATIVE?!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Don't forego the cleaning, you'll only be really far behind when you DO start back up. Trust me, I tried it and only made myself angrier and grumpier because we were living in filth. LOL
    Give him a "bill" of what it would cost him if you hired out for all of the things you do. Spent 8 hours cleaning the house all week long? BAM! 8 hours of Molly Maids isn't cheap. 6 loads of laundry? BAM! what your local laundromat would charge you for laundry services... extra if you even turn on the iron. 40 hours of childcare? BAM! what your local daycare charges. You get the idea. Apparently, he has lost touch with what it takes to keep a household running. You could also start keeping a list of every little minute thing you do. Keep the list on the counter or fridge for him to see when he comes home. Don't say anything about it, just keep it out and visible. He'll get the idea...either that or he's just an ass!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:03 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Stop doing shit and let him see what happens when you really do take it easy

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 12:31 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Stop doing "shit" won't really work if he's in the military...he can't see what she's doing or not doing. Either way most working men have this Bullshit notion that SAHM AND WAHM do nothing but sit on the couch eating bon-bons and watching soaps...Ala Peggy Bundy!
    We all know that this is a BIG Misconception!
    But what you could do is make a list of all the things that you do matter how trivial it really is...anytime you are contributing to your household.
    1. Putting away someone elses crap
    2. Dishes
    3. Taking kids anywhere
    4. Organizing grocery lists, bills et cet
    5. Mediating fights, talking with teachers...

    By now, I'm sure you get my drift.
    Show this to him or read it...than see what he says, if he STILL thinks that you do nothing!
    Hope this Helps and Good Luck Sweetie...I appreciate you!


    Answer by Missikat75 at 1:12 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I was just about to say the same thing.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 12:32 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • It's always better to discuss things openly with your mate. I would try that first; maybe something else is really bothering him. But I do like the idea of making a list of things you've done each day and post it where he can see it. Continue to do your housework, shopping, and whatever else you do to make a comfortable home for yourself and your kids. Kudos to you for being a stay at home mom! If he can't appreciate even this, eventually it will come back to haunt him, but you will be proud of yourself in the end. I always appreciate a stay at home mom, especially in today's economy so I appreciate you!

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:01 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • You can't. He's being a jerk, and there isn't a whole lot you can do to change that.....stop trying to prove yourself to him....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 1:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I would tell him you are going out for the day and leave him with the kids and the house. HE won't fully get what you do because there are a lot of little things that go into being a SAHM, although he might understand a little better. Also I would talk with him, not agrue. See if he knows anything that you do.

    It is hard when you stay home and I have learned to tell my DH I need help. Yes I take care of everything, although sometimes I need a break. I will either go out for a little while or take a shower.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:18 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • thanks everyone glad to hear you advice! because i tried to stop doing things and that just made things worse just porving his own point i guess!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:49 AM on Feb. 2, 2011