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2 Bumps

Child Support Hearing Coming up, Read Please...

First, I want to say that I try HARD not to bad mouth my son's father, but I'm going to say some things i probably shouldn't... I have a child support hearing coming up, and I am a nervous wreck over it. My son is 3 1/2, and the only father he has ever known is his step-dad/my husband. I have not seen nor talked to his biological father in almost 2 years. Last I was told (and this was from him) was that he was on herion, him and his druggie father both. Trust me, that isn't the worst of it either!! I don't know if he will even show up to our hearing, as nobody had an address for him. I honestly hope he doesn't, but I'm sooo worried they will give him visitation. Will/can they do that in a support hearing?? I would be ok with supervised visitation, but how do I bring that up without bad mouthing his bio. father? There is NO way I can trust him alone with my son; and he brought that on himself. Any thoughts or advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!! I will also add that he HAS been diagnosed with bipolar disorder- and does NOT take any medications- well not for that anyway. I also have phone messages, and voicemails where he has threatened DH's and MY life, and said some really nasty things. I kept them incase I would ever need them, if we ever came down to a custody fight. Should I take those with me? I also have hundreds of videos of my home, kids, JJ playing school, etc Not to mention the pictures also...

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momma_marian

Asked by momma_marian at 9:27 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (478 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Visitation is completely separate from child support. He would have to file for it separately. Taking the phone messages is not necessary for a child support hearing.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:29 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • At a child support hearing, the ONLY thing that will be addressed in child support. Visitation won't be discussed at all.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:30 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • If visitation were to come up....this is the one place you should say the bad things about your child's father...as long as they're true. Never badmouth him in front of your child, but the only way you can protect your child is by letting the court know the truth. That's your RESPONSIBILITY, so you shouldn't feel bad about it. As your child asks questions, I wouldn't lie to him, but I'd only give him the information he needs, and that's appropriate for his age. That's also not "bad mouthing". I wouldn't go on about things much, just a simple and clear answer. He will learn the truth on his own, and you want him to trust you.

    I made a point of not talking badly about my ex, my ex tried to say bad things about me, but my son lived with me his whole life. He could see who said what, and who did what, and at one point, called his dad on it.

    Visitation probably won't come up, but if it does just be honest. Good Luck.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:42 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Child support and custody are two different issues. If he wants visits then he has to file in family court for those. Child support deals only with the support of the child.
    If you are worried about a custody hearing in your future start documenting everything. You will have to bad mouth him in custody court. I call family court "Bashfest". It always ends up that way even if youre being nice about it, in the end both parents are telling why they should have custody or visits and the other shouldnt. In your case due to drug abuse Id make sure you have evidence to back it up.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:48 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • i agree with all the above posters CS and Visitations are two differnt things and the court never deals with them together, and if he wants visits he will have to file and prove he can be a good parent good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:54 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

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