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Should I be worried that my fiancee is accusing me?

My fiancee recently went out of town on a business trip. We have kept in contace with each other. The last conversation that we had however, ended in a argument because he asked me why I didn't answer the phone when he called. He went on to say that he didn't trust me because I have a higher sex drive than he does and he is gone. I never had any doubts that he has ever cheated but I also have heard many people say that if someone accuses you, it could be that they are the ones in the wrong. When I talk to his mother about it she says that he talks about how much he misses me and the kids and he can't wait to come back home. I don't want to overreact and make things worse if it is my insecurities talking. What is your opinion on this issue?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You shouldn't marry him if he doesn't trust you. Especially over something like not answering your phone. As far as him cheating I don't think him suspecting you means he's doing it.

    Answer by fairyinabubble at 9:29 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I think that he may not be lying. He may honestly feel this way, however, you also need to not listen to his mother. Lol. From experience I know that mothers lie for their kids NO MATTER WHAT. But good luck though, I hope that you are able to talk this through with your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • My fiance reacts the same way when I am not home to answer the phone. He accuses me frequently of cheating.....and I come to the same conclusion that you do because of others telling me the accuser is often guilty of the offense. We are at a huge crossroads because of this. Deep down, I know it is his insecurities that are surfacing as might be the case with yours. And I agree with the other poster- mom's always seem to lie for their kids rather than look at the real situation. You can't be faulted for a high sex drive my dear! He should embrace that and realize how lucky he is to have you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • PlEASE stop vtalking to his mom about your relationship. That's first of all. Trust me sweetie that will cause sooooo many problems down the road. But I think if this is not something that happens often, you might be reading into it too much. Just sit back see if his actions change. He could have honestly just missec yall and wanted to be at home. You know men don't think straight all the time. LOl

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • ok i will say this right now. people that accuse for no reason are usually the ones doing the cheating. they are paranoid so they think if they accuse you that will throw you off their scent

    Answer by masonelismom at 12:06 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • This may be totally off... but my ex use to always accuse me and get really weird if I didn't answer my phone right away when he called... turned out he was using drugs.

    Answer by TinaBeena1216 at 12:08 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • My husband cheated but he never accused me of cheating and he was going on business trips too.
    What he use to do was accuse me of not doing as much as I WAS doing. We were fixing up our house and he would say he was doing it all, that I wasn't giving my hand in it. lol OK.. I was and I couldn't understand why he was saying those things. When he thought he said and told me something I would no you didn't and he would ALWAYS say don't worry you'll be ok. Like if I were going nuts and forgot. That's what I remember him doing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • This may be hard to believe but I really like his mother and she is a true XChristian. We don't talk all of the time but She treats me like her own daughter. She only had three boys. They have a different culute and out of all the daughter-in-laws she has, she likes me. I am American and the other daughter-in-laws are from the same culture. The information that we share is very limited. I agree that it will be hard to marry him if he has these trust issues. I talked to him today and he said he missed me and couldn't wait to come home. I think maybe he was haveing a bad day. I will keep my eyes open. I have to protect myself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • You need to talk to him. It sounds like he may have some insecurities, but be careful. It sounds like he could be a little controlling, and that could be an unhealthy situation for you and the kids.

    Answer by catlee2127 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I known the accuser is the doer,been through it.His mother will take up 4 him.She'll say & do anything 2 keep her son happy.How can u marry some1 that don't trust u.In order 2 love some1 & want 2 marry them u have 2 trust them.There is no love if there is no trust.U don't want 2 go through what I'm goin through.It's hard bein with some1 that don't trust u.I do all I can do so he wont think that I'm cheatin on him.The trip part,I never cheated on him & never thought about cheatin on him,but he still wants 2 marry me.How do u think that make me feel? and I really do love him.It makes me feel unworty cause I have been through that in my past marrage and he was the 1 that was cheatin.That's a sign of him wantin 2 be in control,u better watch that.Frist sign of abuse.I'm goin 2 leave this fool cause he don't know a good woman when he see 1.U have 2 think about do u want 2 keep on goin through this for the rest of your life.Sometimes you have 2 leave the ass with the asses.

    Answer by Mrs.Lakeisha at 4:25 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

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