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3 Bumps

Is it selfish of me to expect my husband to understand if I'm

Really depressed? I know I'm hard to deal with, but sometimes he makes me feel like such shit. Sometimes I don't even feel like getting out of bed. All I want to do it sleep. He told me he is worried I won't be able to take our son to school, and when I told him it would nice if he supported me about going to school, he told me he is not going to support me in something he knows I can't do. It hurts so badly, but if I tell him that he gets so mad. He takes nothing I say seriously, or any feeling I have seriously because he just thinks it's me being a spaaz. I don't know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • He's being a major ass. Get some help. Talk to your GP about finding a therapist (for talk therapy, not drugs), and if you feel it's necessary talk to your GP about antidepressants too.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:07 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • He may be stressed out if he is having to carry more of the load. He's only human too.

    Are you getting some kind of help? If not he may be scared and see no end in sight, or may feel that you don't want to fix this.

    Please get some help, and don't let this affect your family. Depression is hard on everyone, and often the people closest to us aren't able to help us. Sometimes anger is just a fear reaction.

    Good Luck Momma.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:12 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I know everyone says try therapy but it might just work and I believe it is worth it if it could save your marriage
    mommy161617

    Answer by mommy161617 at 10:17 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Oh honey, I completely understand where you're comign from and I'm so sorry. He's being an ass, although I agree with ohwrite in that he may be afraid and unsure of how to deal with this. Men aren't good at the emotional stuff, usually. At the same time, if my DH told me he didn't think I could do something, that would piss me off enough to want to prove him wrong! Sometimes a negative can be turned into a positive, even though it hurts like hell at the time. Have you tried things to address your depression? Before going with meds, have you tried vitamins and exercise? Personally, when I don't work out, I get really grouchy and depressed, especially during winter. If I work out 2-3 times a week, I will be fine. It sucks because sometimes the LAST think I want to do is work out, but I drag myself to the gym anyway. Hope you feel better soon!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:21 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • First of all I will tell you that I've suffered from depression AND have had a million people not believe in me being successful student and you know what? I have a 4.0 GPA because I WANT it. To me, it seems like school is not the major issue here, but you husband not being supportive of you emotionally. I also suggest that you see a therapist that will help you personally and in your marriage. Every person needs something in their life that makes them feel successful, that could be what's making you depressed in the first place and your hubby needs to understand this.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 10:23 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I wonder if he intends to be a jerk or not? I suffer from depression too, and there have been times in my life when I would have been unable to take on a challenge like continuing with school. I didn't know my husband then but I would hope that he would urge me to take care of myself, and our family, and not take on something that I'm not ready for.

    Is it possible that your hubby doesn't mean to be so callous but just chooses his words poorly?

    If he really is just being a jerk then I wonder if he'd be willing to go to counseling to learn more about your personal struggle so he has an opportunity to be more compassionate?

    You definitely don't deserve to feel "like such sh*t."

    I hope his intentions are better than that...
    angelm523

    Answer by angelm523 at 11:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Well I can't say I blame him. How would you feel if he laid around in bed all day and did nothing?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I don't lay in bed and do nothing. I said I FEEL like I could. I clean every day, and cook dinner every night, and take care of an extremely demanding 5 year old.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:46 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Anon is a moron. Don't listen to such ignorance OP.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 12:00 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • My husband never understood. He never took me seriously. I had to ask more than once for him to lock away his guns when I was suicidal. Now I'm finally stable, I plan to divorce him. Life is too short to always feel like a piece of shit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

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