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Should I go and miss Valentines day?

Hi there ladies...

My grandfather (in another state 10 hours away) is not doing very well and has to be moved into a special nursing home for Alzheimer's. He is being moved from a hospital into the home sometime this week. I am assuming lots of family will go an visit him right away but the visits will drop off quickly (the home is kinda far from where they all live).

The decision is taking a toll on my grandmother too. I want to go and see them both very much. Due to other influences I am unable to go without my mother (or someone) with me. My mother is up there now, and plans on going back for his birthday on Feb 15th.

Here is my dilemma:
1. We are trying to conceive and this weekend is our first window. My husband wants us to not miss this window and I really agree... Plus I can go for his birthday in two weeks :) Also, right now he might be overwhelmed with visitors and so maybe it would help him if I wait a few weeks until people stop going en mass.

2. We are newlyweds and this will be our first Valentine's Day together. I feel like it's not that important and we can celebrate a different day. Hubby agreed and we decided this was the right time for me to go visit. He can't take time off of work though so we wouldn't be together. A couple of people told me I am going to regret this.

So.. please cast your vote:
1 Go now and miss our chance to conceive this month
2 Go for Valentine's Day and miss our first VDay


Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • DH and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It's just a day. Plus it's my mom's bday and was my grandparents' anniversary.

    You can have a special date in your TTC window and make that special.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:45 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • for us, Vday is not really a big day. EVERY day for us is Vday! LOL!! get that baby made, and go and see grandpa! 'specially if DH is ok with it!

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 10:44 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I would stay and get pregnant and then go visit for his B/day besides your mom is there and she will be returning for his b/day... GL
    have fun practicing ;) Valentine's Day is everyday in our home...sigh the love mmmm!!!, GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:51 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Oh for goodness sake you can try to conceive any time. What if the grandfather dies before you see him again? The decision should be easy. I can't believe you even asked this

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Anonymous - he isn't in any danger of dying. He has Alzheimers. So the two week wait doesn't matter from a "will I see him again" standpoint.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:45 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Also it isn't true I can TTC any time. It isn't that easy for allot of women :S

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:47 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I'd miss V-Day over missing Conception Time.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:52 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • wow, I dunno. If his healthy is decent, then stay. Although V-day is NO biggie for us. But we've been married for 19 years. And as far as getting preggers, that was never a big deal to us either. We got pregnant when we got pregnant. Best of luck

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:00 AM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I think you want someone to say, STAY! So STAY!! I know you think your grandfather just has Alzheimer's and is in no danger of dying. But is in he in danger of Not being able to Remember You?!?! Have you been trying for a longtime to concieve? Cause you said you are newlyweds?? Do what you want. But let me tell you, when my wonderful grandfather was in the hospital, kept putting off calling him. I was on the west coast, he was in Texas. So when I finally did call, I missed visiting hours. The next morning my mother called and told me to get back to Texas asap. I never got a chance to speak to him. But he did wait for all of us, except my sister who thought her trip was more important, to get there before he passed on. I would give anything in this world to have had a chance to tell him that I LOVED HIM and that he was the BEST Grandfather anyone could have had!!!

    Answer by eluc at 11:08 AM on Feb. 2, 2011