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3 Bumps

when men dont respond???

ok me and my bf have bad communication and i know this but im rly upset with him becuz i went out for a girls day and he didnt watch neither one of our kids!!! He left our daughter with his mom and went to go play basketball which rly hurts me because it not fair that i have to sit at home with these babies all day sometimes 6 days a week!!!! but yday i poured my heart out to him and he didnt respond. i asked him why arent you saying anything dont you care how i feel?? and he says yes i care but i just hate responding??????? wtf does he mean?? he says he doesnt want to listen to my nagging but im trying to tell him how i feel and i need his comfort and love when im upset but he doesnt want to talk. he says we have no problems but he just doesnt see them because they go his way...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It sounds like a little bit of counseling might be very helpful.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 12:24 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. My husband is fairly similar. I am tempted to say "it's a guy thing", but there are a lot of guys that DON'T do this and are understanding. I wish you much luck, sorry I can't offer any adivce.... the only thing I can think of is to have a heart to heart with him or express how you really feel... but you've already done that and he's not responsive. :( Maybe some of the other responses will help you.
    Mamma2E

    Answer by Mamma2E at 12:26 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Try couple counseling if that doesn'thelp move on, & tell him that it is not babysitting when its your child that's your parental responsibility

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 12:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Men don't like conflict. I think counseling would be good because it's easier to talk to a third party.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 12:29 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Based on what you have shared here's my thoughts.

    "I hate responding".. Usually means/translates to: Anything I say will make you madder, will make you cry more, and (if you are a yeller.. lol) make you yell at me more. So I'd rather not say anything.

    Now. that could be because of the way in which you communicate to him and how it makes him feel. Or. That could be because he is smart enough to realize that he does not have the ability to say whatever it is he wants to say in a manner that would be taken well, or that you would comprehend well so that you really understood what he was saying without :adding more to it, trying to read between the lines,or think there is some hidden meaning.

    You are right. The communication between the two of you is not that great. In order for the relationship to improve, in order to solve issues. The two of you must learn how to communicate with one another honestly, openly & affectively.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:43 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Ladies... it's time to get schooled. There are many wonderful men in the world who can make you happy. There are also the other kind. Guys who are not affectionate or commited. Men who only get in relationships so they can have sex. It sounds as if you may have hooked up with one of those losers. Sorry, but there is a reason that for thousands of years women refused to have sex with a man until he married her. When a man says he doesn't need a piece of paper to prove he loves you, just ask him... How Do You Prove It? Then get rid of him. Never marry a man who isn't wonderful, affectionate and commited to your happiness. Never have children with a man who isn't willing to marry you first. Meanwhile, there may be nothing you can do about this guy. If you nag him enough he'll get mad and go sleep with somebody else. Let this be a lesson to all of us. Look before you leap. Good Luck
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 12:45 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • hes not one of those losers whos with me just for the sex! he stayed with me for 6 yrs! We didnt have our first kid till we were together 2 1/2 yrs!! if he wanted only pussy he would leave when i dont give it up! i think i would knw if thats all he wanted
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:49 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • "I hate responding" is code for "I really have no excuses for my behavior and if I sit down and shut up, maybe she will stop pointing out my obvious flaws and then I can get on with the buisness of being a emotionally withdrawn prick for the rest of my life."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Sometimes, you have to learn to accept the man for who he is and how he reacts to you. Sometimes, you have to learn how to talk to him where he listens and understands and sometimes you have to understand that just because you're in a relationship/marriage, does not mean that he'll listen and get the point. Marriages and relationships takes works and it takes learning your mate. After six years, you should know how to talk to him and get him to understand or you should know whether or not he will put forth the effort to hear you. I know its frustrating and at times to difficult but take a deep breath and relax. Find out ways to communicate with him without nagging and without a confrontation.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:49 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Wow.. You caught him up and he didnt know what to say lol
    x3.babymama.x3

    Answer by x3.babymama.x3 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

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