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An old friend called my phone...

My high school friend, who is like a brother to me. My mom took him in and everything. NEVER nothing romantic, truly a big brother. He has been in some trouble, so recently he called my phone and said hello. My husband was present and I let him know who I was speaking to, than a wk later he called again (while DH was present). I was like now he can't keep calling me like this. Needless to say we got into an argument. He called again today and I let him know that my husband is uncomfortable with this and he understood and that was it. Was this the right thing to do or is DH overreacting?

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novice2008

Asked by novice2008 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (176 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Did you explain to your DH that this was a very close family friend? You were taking the calls in front of him, which is a good thing to do on your part. I can understand your husband being uncomfortable with it for a few reasons, 1) he doesn't know the intentions of this person calling you, regardless of how good your intentions are, and 2) this person has been in trouble lately and trouble brings trouble, maybe he doesn't want that in your family. There's no need for arguments between the two of you. Your loyalty is to your husband and I think you did the right thing.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 3:51 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Well, if he called beause he was in trouble and needed someone, hubby may be overreacting. If he was saying inappropriate things, hubby is right.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:53 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Another male was calling his wife and he was uncomfortable with that. I think it was a respectful decision on your part to ask the man to stop calling.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:55 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I don't see the issue in him calling you if it is genuinely a platonic relationship.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:07 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • How sad that your spouse is so insecure. I would never let anyone try to decide who I can or can't be friends with.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:55 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I think maybe it was unfair to ask a true family friend to not call again but, I think some steps should be taken to reassure hubby that he is the only man in your life. For starters, allow them to meet. But, if there is trouble, you def dont want to be involved if it could bring bad things to your family. Find out nature of the trouble. Explain to hubby who he is and that there is absolutely no threats whatsoever. Who knows, they may become friends as well.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 6:51 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I agree with you (huntin mama) It is fear of the unknown and maybe one day that will happen. I felt bad at first, but then I realized how would I feel if he was in the same situation. If my friend was married, I would understand if he could not speak with me. but to each its own. Because of today's culture, causal lines of intimacy are crossed and marriages are ruined. If he's truly my friend, he would respect my decision.
    novice2008

    Comment by novice2008 (original poster) at 1:26 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

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