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How can I get my family to appreciate what I do, and show respect for it without nagging?

I've become severely burnt out & bitchy with my boyfriend of 4yrs, & my kids. I run my own successful business, stay home with our 2.5 yr old by day, do most all of the cooking & cleaning, & basically take care of their every whim. When I do make my older children (ages 10 & 12) help out, I usually get whining & half hearted help at a minimum. The same goes for when my bf helps too. I've tried all sorts of incentives and games to make it more fun for them....but it doesn't work & I resort to nagging again. I also go out of the way to praise any efforts they do make. It basically goes like this; I clean something...they go right behind me & mess it up! I feel like that is such a slap in my face! No one in the house seems to know how to put ANYTHING away where they found it, or how to simply wipe up a simple spill after themselves. I am so fed up! I have never thought that I 'allowed' this behavior, & yet it happens all the time. I know they are so sick of hearing me gripe all of the time, but I don't know how to get them to listen to how I feel. I just want them to TRY and help me maintain it! I don't go to school and scribble all over their assignments before they turn them in...or his job & screw up his reports for his 9am conference call! It is to the point that it has brought me to tears even. How can I get them to respect what I do around here & help out more too?

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Asked by pregnancy3 at 4:03 PM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • oh that story sounds so familiar and I wish I had some advice, if you get any let me know because I feel like the same thing happens here~!

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 5:02 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • What is your business? I think almost ALL moms have this complaint. I have to force myself to chill out b/c otherwise it will drive u nuts and you will be doing the same tasks over and over throughout the day. For some things, such as dishes, it's better to keep the done as you go and do them after each meal but for other things like toys and out of place items, I ONLY allow myself to put them away ONCE a day all at one time, I go room to room and everything gets put away and that's it. If it gets pulled back out, it stays out until tomorrow. When they start stepping on things that hurt their feet or things break, they will start picking them up. Good luck!

    Answer by huntin_mama at 5:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • go on strike. when they see how much you really do, they, or he will pitch in.

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 10:11 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • huntin mama~ I run my own Pure Romance business. I agree with trying to only deal with it at the end of the day's just so frustrating. I know that this is a very common complaint for mothers...I just for whatever reason am not dealing with it very well lately. lol. Mama2bof2~ I actually have done this several times. Last time I went on strike for two whole weeks! The only thing that FINALLY got done was that my bf did some of the laundry. The only person that it really bothered was me. UGH!

    Comment by pregnancy3 (original poster) at 10:44 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

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