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2 Bumps

Help! My husbands exwife is really ticking me off and he's not helping matters!

Every weekend and every break during the school year my husbands 11 year old son is here with us. I've made it very clear when I am not able to watch him (even though he's 11 he cannot be left in the house alone) and it just seems to go in my husbands left ear and exit through the right ear. On top of it, if his son isn't with me or in school, he's with her parents.(my husband works during the week and is on call a lot on the weekends) So basically his grandparents and I spend more time with him than his parents do! And if we both say we can't watch him during that time - hell has no fury like an exwife not getting her way! But someone always gives in (usually my husband) and plans get cancelled. This wasn't a regular occurance until this last summer break and getting worse as time goes on.
Any advice on how to make a point without letting myself in for more problems would be great!
Thank You!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Why can't you watch him?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:30 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • You are not going to get support from me. It is his son and he has the responsibility. When you married him you knew about his son. If you cannot care for him, your husband will have to handle it and make the necessary arrangements.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:32 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • ^ Exactly what I thought^
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:32 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I agree I actually feel sorry for the child because it sounds like his parents don't really want anything to do with him. Also, if you aren't going to be gone long, say just running to the store, why can't he be alone for a little while. I'm just saying he is a 11, I understand if you aren't comfortable with that.

    The only thing I can say if you need to talk with your husband and let him know how you feel,

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:36 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I can see not letting an 11 year old alone. In most states that's illegal. BOTH parents should be more responsible for their kid and not make someone ELSE watch him like you or the grandparents..
    bookmommy

    Answer by bookmommy at 4:53 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I have children that are starting to resent that plans are being cancelled because their step brother does not wish to participate in the activity. He will say he'll go than decide he doesn't want to at the last minute.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:57 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • You, your spouse and his ex should be in family counseling, to learn to communicate with each other
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:11 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Tried the family counseling, paid for it up front too....we're the only ones that showed up. (Obviously it didn't help or I wouldn't have asked the question.)
    And for those of you that keep saying "you knew about his son" yeah I did, but no one told me would become more my responsibility than his parents.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:24 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN IS THE MAJOR PROBLEM IN A MIX HOUSEHOLD, THE ADULTS NEED TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES AN REMBER THE CHILDREN ARE ALWAYS GONNA TAKE PRIORITY NO MATTER WHAT! SO WORK OUT A SCHEDULE OR WHAT NOT STATING THESE ARE THE TIMES WE NEED TO FIND ANOTHER SITTER FOR SUCH AN SUCH! AN IF THIS DOSENT WORK THEN I WOULD GO TO A MEATIEATOR TO WORK THIS OUT!
    heiditr

    Answer by heiditr at 5:29 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • If it is about plans getting cancelled - go anyway. Use your resources and find a babysitter to care for him when you can't. Since you have other children, you need to have time with hubby without any children at times.
    tortkey

    Answer by tortkey at 5:34 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

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