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How do I cope with the fact that I may never have children?

I want children but my husband doesn't. I am 22 and my husband is 38. He has two children from a previous marriage one 19 the other 18. One also has a child herself. Making me a 22 year old grandmother. But I still want to bare children of my own, considering the other two are adults. I may never have children and I want to learn to accept this. Has anyone had this situation? **please don't suggest divorce as an answer**

 
Penguin88

Asked by Penguin88 at 5:18 PM on Feb. 2, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 6 (108 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I don't know that any of us can tell you how to accept it. It's quite different to learn acceptance with this rather than acceptance because you physically can't have children. Mostly here, you're going to get "well, you knew what you were getting into, so now you'll just have to live with it". And that's probably right, as harsh as it may seem...if your husband absolutely will not change his mind, then you will have to just remember what you agreed to when you married him and hope that resentment against him for it doesn't bubble up. Honestly, I think it's going to be hard for us moms to tell you how to learn to accept childlessness, if that makes any sense. Good luck with things.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 5:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I don't know what to tell you. This is a subject that should have come up long before you marriage.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 5:21 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • I think you would/should have known that before you got married.. you will have to accept that as your personal decision since you knew he didn't want anymore before you got married. You will have to decide if its the marriage or children you want. You are only 22. Lots of things can change..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:22 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • you're still young. you deserve to have kids but if you choose your marraige over kids then it's put it out of your head. if not, continue to talk to your husband. it shouldve been resolved before you got married
    Mrs.L.Mita

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 5:25 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Why can't you have any? Is it because he doesn't want any or your medically can't?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:27 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • The question is not a fix it question. How would one deal emotionally? It's been discussed before and after the marriage; I knew what I was stepping into. I'm just asking on how one would go about ACCEPTING the issue, not how to fix my husband.
    Penguin88

    Comment by Penguin88 (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Since you want to accept the situation and move on with your life you need to think about realistic future plans. Think about the things you CAN do, and not the things you can't. If you feel a need to be involved with children, there are plenty of options; you can be an awesome grandmother to your step-daughter's child, you could pursue a career involving children (teacher, social worker, pediatrician, childcare provider...), or you could devote your free-time to helping children by volunteering at a children's charity. You could also just focus on making the most of yourself and your contribution to society. Another thought - if your husband isn't up to having any more children, there might be alternatives that would satisfy your desire to parent that he might agree to, such as being foster parents.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:07 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

  • Even if he does not want I would stil get pregnant if there is love in marriege. After the baby is born he will love the baby so much :-)
    Kotenok2011

    Answer by Kotenok2011 at 5:39 PM on Feb. 2, 2011

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