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my sex life isnt that great..help!!!

my husband complains that i dont have sex with him enough and its puting a strain on our marriage...its not that hes unattractive i just dont feel like having sex anymore we have 1 child already...ive never been one to be in the mood for sex but when i am LORD look out lol..but back to the problem....i try to put myself in the mood by laying next to him naked or trying to think of a sexy pose hed be in but sadly its not working anymore...am i broken?? ive had a long line of sexual abuse by myex's and one in particular runs through my head daily i cant shake the crap he did to me..can it be fixed... has anyone else had this problem..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Nov. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • honestly thats probably the problem, your history with sexual abuse. your best bet is to talk to a counselor or something cause it doesnt sound like it will get better until you work it out in your own head. for the time being i would explain to your hubby whats really bothering you. explain that it is not him you just have soemthing to work out on your own, for your own good. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Sounds like you need some psychatric help, hun. We talked about this in our class the other day until you are able to let go of the past it will continue to harm you in the future.
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 10:07 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Anyone who has ahd past sexual abuse or has been raped, usually has either the problem you have or they go to the opposite extreme and develop a type of sexual addiction. You aren't broken. You just need to talk to a professional about it. You probably have a lot of anxiety attached to anything related to sex and that shuts off any kind of attraction you could feel. Even if this is new for you, the feelings sometimes can be dormant for years until your mind decides that it's time for you to deal with it so you can move on. Maybe start by talking to your doctor and see who they recommend for you. That's usually the best place to start. Good luck!
    crazybeautifulh

    Answer by crazybeautifulh at 10:41 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • It is fixable. I would talk to your husband and let him know that you want to work on it and ask for his help. I agree with the other ladies, a little counselling wouldn't hurt. Also it maybe more than just that. Your hormones can throw off your sex drive a lot! You might mention the lack of sex drive to your doctor. You never know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • It sounds more like Hormones issues then sexual abuse past....
    You should get them checked first and a counselor can never hurt..
    Sometimes unforgiveness in a heart can block your feelings of trust.
    Maybe you should also tap into some Spiritual Advise too. That will surely help with the hurt and the remembering part too. Feeling old bitterness is a relationship destroyer...
    Good luck
    God Bless
    getyoung

    Answer by getyoung at 7:21 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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