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My son isn't listening!! Please help!

omg, i feel like i have to tell my four year old to do something 20 times before he will do it!! He comes up with a ton of different reasons why he shouldn't do it or why he should be able to do it later. He does all of this with attitude and it is driving my crazy. Also, when he does do something wrong and knows that he is in trouble he shows no remorse at all! Is this normal? any suggestions before i pull out all of my hair?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Nov. 15, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • I would like 2 say that I had the answer 4 you but, I am in the same boat as you except that I have four that do this to me. I feel your pain and frustration my hair is turning gray 2 soon I have to dye it.

    Answer by pjcrew at 10:31 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • My son is the same way, he talked very rude to me. Why my husband breaks in and tells him to stop talking to me that way he tells my husband "i'm talking to mommy" He is very defiante and will change the subject if he is told to do something. I've tried it all, spankings, time out, go to your room. He always finds another reason not to do something. I know It's not helpful for you but I'm in the same boat as you!
    My only option is stick with what you say, if you say "go to your room" make him go to his room. Even if that means picking him up and taking him in there. If he cries let him cry... Let him know this doesn't bother you. I just ignore it.
    *but like i said, I'm in the same boat as you!*

    Answer by DancerMomof2 at 10:35 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Start making him give his prides and joys up

    Answer by bustedbaby106 at 11:39 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I'm glad to see I'm not the only one going through this. My three year old is doing the same thing.

    Answer by burtmommy05 at 1:10 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Tell him to do it. For example please pick up your toys before we sit down to eat lunch. If he gives you a hard time, tell his "This is your last warning, please pick up your toys or you will go sit in time out". If he still complains make him sit in time out. And after time out, ask him to pick up his toys again. Most likely he will get the hint, that he is not going to get to do anything unless he starts to listen. You have to be very consistent with this kind of behavior, otherwise he won't do it, or listen to you. My son knows by now that when I say this is your last warning, he will do whatever was asked of him, because he doesn't want to sit in time out. Good luck, I hope this helps.

    Answer by Reggie2 at 2:17 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • OMG I thought I was the only one.. thank goodness. sorry I can't help

    Answer by mommysince2004 at 5:13 PM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Two suggestions:
    1. natural consequences: ie, "i'm sorry you left your toys on the floor. Now I will have to put them in the closet until tomorrow" or " the tv turns off when you aren't listening. I'll be happy to turn it back on when your ready"

    2. A great new book called "How to have a new kid by Friday". I haven't personally read but I hear it is amazing.

    Answer by paxsonsmom at 1:48 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Man we are all on the same boat because my 3 yo will scream bloody murder every night becasue she wants to watch tv and not go to bed. Some nights I let her stay up a little longer and she still screams. This also happens when we say no about anything she wants to do. I'm sorry I can't help but at least I know I'm not alone.

    Answer by w2littlewomen at 3:18 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • When you tell/ask your son to do something, make sure the tv is off and you are standing right in front of him making eye contact. If he doesn't respond with either words or the action you requested, make the request again. Tell him, if I have to tell you a 3rd time (insert punishment here). For me, if I ask for the toys picked up and they don't, the toys get taken away until tomorrow.

    Stand over the child and make sure he does what you asked. Do not yell from the kitchen. Do not walk away. Stay with him until the request your request is fulfilled. This may take up some time and seem annoying at first, but after a few weeks he will learn what is expected, and the consequences of failing to do what is expected. Be consistent. Don't give up just because it's tiring or time consuming standing over him.


    Answer by DawnA72 at 10:58 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • My daughter is 4 and strong willed...she likes to "challenge" me with either a look of defiance or an all out "NO I DON'T LIKE THAT" I follow through with what I am talking about. Tonight it was IN BED at 11pm. It's a new rule and one to follow through with. When told "NO" I give them a warning..."you have two minutes to watch your show, then the tv is off at 11pm" They can't fight when you take their reason to fight away. At 11pm the lights go OUT.. she has no other choice than to get in bed or roll over and go to sleep...or stare into the darkness of the room. She is learning that when I say something I mean it...

    Answer by truetigress at 2:36 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

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