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2 Bumps

Trying to adopt, agency giving us problems

Background: My husband and I are trying to adopt but they agency is giving us a really hard time. We are trying to figure out what is going on.As far as what they've told us, we've been the most prepared people theyve seen come thru. We have done our classes and EACH and EVERY aspect of our background check, financial, etc came back perfect. We are at a decent age to adopt, I am adopted myself so I understand. We both have decent stable jobs. We own our house. We have a room completely ready for a child. But they keep going back and forth between yes we're approved and no we're not. Every time we've asked them whats going on,we get different answers, backtrack or the policies "have just changed".(mind you we've kept emails and recorded phone calls) We are in a place where there are not a lot of white people(which we are) in the us and we are not prejudice at all in any way shape or form, we just weren't brought up that way.. but over the last few weeks several of our local friends, amongst others, have said maybe its because we're white. I have argued several times that, that can't possibly be it, but after jumping hoop after hoop and getting no where, we are starting to wonder. Out of all our friends, family, attourney, and adoption hotline, no one can understand why we're not licensed yet.....

The Question is: Is this a real possibility and if so, how are we going to prove it? Please absolutely no bashing. Please remember we are not prejudice. We have our hearts fully into this and would like info/ideas if anyone has it..........if anyone has had experience with the same thing, please let us know?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (7)
  • To be honest I have no idea, I would hope that wouldn't be the issue. Have you really checked this agency out? It just seems like they are giving you the run around. Any other adopting agency in your area?
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 12:29 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I hope not either ;( we have checked them out but we are limited where we're at. we've even offered to fly someone in from out of state, but the out of state people said as much as they'd enjoy that, it cant work that way..........and there are other agencies, yes, but the adoption failure rate is very high with them from everyone we've talked to................
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:38 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I would contact someone to make sure the agency you are working with is legitamet. I have a friend who used the two following agencies and she has adopted one child and is in the process of adopting another one. Her and her husband are white and they have not seemed to have any problems. America World CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption)

    Sorry I can't be of more help, I do know it takes a long time. I know with their second adoption she said it can take up to 2 years.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:44 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I would not think race has anything todo with it. If this is through the state then you can appeal to the who is over them. Even hire a private lawyer to speed things along and get approval. Just because you can get approved doesn't mean you will get matched. Recording phone calls? Sounds a little over board unless the content is so racist or horrible that is really uncalled for. If this is a private agency you can choose to report them, sue for any money you have paid out, don't pay any more money, and look for a diffrent agency. I am a white mom to a black child. While it is true that some state agencies are uncomfortable with placing a black child in a white home, most would still at least approve you. If this is a matter of racial issues then your best bet is a private lawyer and go from there.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:57 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Also, you can adopt from another state but happens rarely. And yes, you have to be the ones to fly out frequently - not the child.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:59 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Is this a foster adoption?, I am not sure what you mean by licensed. Your home study with a domestic adoption is not a license.

    If you are a white couple wanting to adopt a white baby it will take longer in most cases than AA/AA but that doesn't sound like your problem.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 9:40 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • yes. recording. its not overboard when they literally change things and tell us something different every time we call......this is a state agency.....we have talked to a lawyer.........and oddly enough she's also local and agrees with what everyone else has said.........I dont want it to be a racial issue.....we've passed everything with flying colors, they just wont finish the licensing. We are adopting here in the US and have no problem flying to see them...........all they have said is we have to finish getting licensed. and we are not planning on adopting a baby...............older child.........
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:40 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

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