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Everyday routine (dressing, washing, brushing teeth ...): How can I get her to do what I ask her to do?

Sometimes I could just pull my hair put. These are things that need to be done EVERY DAY! When I ask her to do this or that, she just stands there with big eyes. "Shall I help you?"She says "no" or won't react at all. She doesn't want me to help, but she won't do as she's told either. Nevertheless, the shoes need to be on her feet and we need to be on our way within the next 2 minutes (if we don't want to be late)!
Then I tell her, I count to three and if she doesn't move I'll just grab her and do it myself. As you can imagine, it ends in tears. She's all sorry and apologizing. "Won't do it again, mommy." (yeah, we're good.) BUt an hour later she's doing it again.
I don't know how to stop it. Meanwhile I feel like "I DON T WANT YOUR &%$##@! APOLOGY."


Asked by BeachMom81 at 3:08 AM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • My son doesnt do what i ask of him, he goes in timeout, i just have to ask him if he wants to sit in the corner and that gets him going

    Answer by wifecombs at 1:38 AM on Feb. 5, 2011

  • I can tell you how it sounds to me and how I would approach this (as a teacher and a parent).

    Say what you will be doing together --and then do it together.
    Do not ask her or re-repeat it to her.

    Simply hold her hand and walk her to her closet or bathroom or where ever, and just help her.
    Don't tell her to go do it --or ask if she wants help. Just do it.

    She is apologizing because she knows you are angry with her and saying that to you is The Thing That Helps.
    She doesn't understand anything beyond that.
    But she's not misbehaving on purpose, you just have mature expectations of an immature person.

    Also, do not expect her to retain instructions.
    Expect to tell her everyday as if this were the first time.


    Answer by doulala at 3:28 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • cont:

    If getting clothes out the night before, making lunches together the night before, making a drawing-diagram of the Morning Routine (visual aid) can help to not be late, great!
    Start getting ready earlier to avoid running late is helpful.
    Stress and chaos can often make it worse, too hard to deal through.
    And also expect to have set backs, be aware they are likely. Anticipate some slow moments.
    It can be smoother when you are more prepared and ready.
    You know she will have a hard time in the morning so do what you can to bypass the strain (for her and yoU!).

    Good luck!

    Answer by doulala at 3:31 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I have to say I agree with doulala..She is still young and needs guidance and to be shown things. When my kids were that age we always put clothes out the night before. We also had the same routine every morning so they knew what to expect as far as when we had breakfast, when we got dressed and so on.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 5:55 AM on Feb. 3, 2011