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Why would she tell me that?

So my husband and I are moving to North Dakota. My best friend hates that I am moving away from her. She is actually being pretty mean about it. This is a serious thing for us. My husband has already got a job in North Dakota and we are starting to look for a house. Today my friend sends me a email that said "since you want to check out the culture you should watch Fargo." Well I have never seen this movie so I checked out the trailer online. Have you seen this movie. Its about people being murdered and going crazy in these snow storms. I am a little freaked out now. I mean I have my fears about moving away from my family but really did she need to make me scared that someone is going to come in and murder me! It is a little late to change my mind. My husband already got his job!!! Why would she want to scare me?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Nov. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • She is hurt by you leaving and is having a rough time with it so is pushing you away. I used to do this when I was a kid when my dad would move (we were military, well, I still am). I would be mean to my friends so they would be mad at me... it is easier to let them go when you are fighting. If you aren't used to dealing with friends moving away I could totally understand someone acting this way. I would talk to her about it. Let her know you understand how she might be feeling and assure her that she will always be in your heart even though you are moving away.

    Answer by cat1622 at 11:25 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Go ahead and watch the movie. It's NOTHING to fear. The message in the movie is actually that these folks are NOT used to having homicides.They are all really nice, trusting people who live very sensible lives. Anyway, besides that, she is just hating on you because you are moving away. Don't pay any attention. You have to do what's best for you, and she should support that. You both can visit each other later.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Well said cat1622!!!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:54 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • Wow Cat1622.. I did the SAME thing.. I would push away my friends and basically be a brat, it wouldn't hurt as much to leave if we were fighting and angry at each other. I wasn't military but we moved every 1-2 years from ages 5 - 16. Finally, one of my friends when I was a teenager said, "Stop trying to push me away! You're not getting rid of me." Anyway.. I would agree with PP - she is hurt and doesn't want to see you gone. Don't let a silly movie discourage you. Talk to your friend, see if she will acknowledge that she is hurt or jealous that you are moving. If she won't - just give her some distance and let her deal with it.

    Answer by Serafyna at 11:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • it's a movie for crying out loud. It's entertainment. It was an absurd comedy. You will be fine up there. I'm sure there are great ppl in ND. Now, you might freeze your behind off but that's a different story. Your friend is being a bad sport. She should wish you well and if she won't then I will. Have a great life and enjoy your new adventure in ND. I'm sure it's rich in history and culture other than fictional stories! She should be thrilled in this economy that your h found a job!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:23 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Honestly, it sounds like she doesn't know how to be supportive; I think it'll be good for you to move away from her!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:05 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Oh, and for the record, I'm from Minnesota. We took a lot of heat when that damn movie came out! Other than SOME of the old-timers, no one talks like that, and the stuff that happens in that movie is far from normal, or even true! :)

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:07 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • oh well thats not nice,the movie is all fake,its your decision to move and start fresh,everyone does this its natural to do for your friend i detect a major jelousy and a friend who does this sort of thing isnt a friend of at all.your life doesnt evolve round hers and thats probably what she thinks.a friend should support you in every decision you make not try and sabatage it,your husband wants to further in his career to make sure theres money there for his family.i wouldnt worry about it,you guys take that fresh start and make it happen,all your dreams will come true,thinking positve always bring positve things to you.having negative thought brings negative things to you and you dont want that,sit back an relax and concentrate whats best for your family not here if you want anything else


    Answer by cruizymum at 4:46 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • Maybe you wasn't trying to scare you..... maybe she was trying to make you laugh since it's a comedy?
    Communication is always best...... assuming things isn't good in any relationship so talk to her. You've got email, likely texting and there's always the phone so you don't have to lose the friendship unless you just want to (that's what I'd tell her)

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:22 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

  • First of all it's just a movie so don't get freaked out. Your friend is upset that your leaving and is trying to scare you into saying. Do what's right for your family and let your friend know that you will keep in touch and she can visit you and you will be back to visit her. I know it's hard, I just did it a few months ago but it turned out to be the best thing in the world for our family. I miss my best friend but we talk all the time and we are going to get together next summer.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:55 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

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