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If a teen believes they were raped but don't want to talk about it too anyone-How do you help them heal?

They don't want to report because they say they can't remember but believe they were. It is a blurr and they wish it never happened.

They said no. I explained, no means no and if someone did something to you and you said no, then it is rape. I also said he can do it too someone else.

Hopefully, they will talk in the near future but how do you get them to forgive. They say you must forgive the other person that did you wrong first then forgive your self (but what did the person do, if they didn't do wrong). How can someone do that and why would you forgive your self if your the victim?


Asked by KFree907 at 9:51 AM on Feb. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You can't get her to forgive. She will if/when she is ready.

    But please tell the teen that she does not need to forgive herself because she did nothing wrong. She was the vistim of a crime and it is not her fault.

    Also give her the phone number to RAINN ( is their website) or a local rape crisis center.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:54 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I have no idea, I think that saying is a bunch of bull.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:57 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I was going to mention a local rape crisis center. It takes a long time for women to speak of a rape that happened to them. She doesn't need to forgive the other person at all. I was raped and still haven't forgiven them. I don't know that I ever will, I only forgave myself 5 years ago, the rape was 11 years ago. I know that sounds silly because it wasn't my fault, but to someone who was in that situation, it is difficult to see how you are not to blame, especially if you don't remember. That sounds like to me she was high or drunk, so she will blame herself for allowing it to happen. Keep telling her that you believe her, and she is not to blame. It is so important that she knows you belive her. Good luck

    Answer by parajumper3 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Thank you, I will...

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 9:55 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I know she didn't do anything wrong, but why do people say inorder to move on with life.

    You must forgive the one who does your wrong and then forgive yourself?????

    What the heck does that mean?

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 9:56 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I volunteered at a local rape crisis center when I was in college. You also need to make sure that she sees a doctor to make sure that she isn't pregnant and didn't get any STDs or tearing or other injuries from the assault. She doesn't have to go to the hospital to get a rape kit done (they will press her to file charges), but she should see a gynecologist to make sure she is okay physically.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:07 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Take her to a local Rape Crisis Center. They can help her.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 10:54 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Parajumper3---

    She don't drink or do drugs, I think she just wants to forget it. She told me about it but was not sure if it was or is not ready to admit that she was raped.

    Comment by KFree907 (original poster) at 11:47 AM on Feb. 3, 2011

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