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anyone got any advice?

My son was sexually abused by his dad for basically 15 years. I just custody of him about a month ago. I dont really know much about how to help him but im trying to help him all i can. so Im going to ask you guys how to help him nightmares because he has them almost everytime he goes to sleep. Loud noises like thunder and fire works scare him. water ive noticed is another fear of his.He has a huge huge fear of the dark... one night the light went out in his room and he started crying and screaming for help and I went to comfort him not even worrying about the light and just my touch scared him even more. Can anyone give me advice please!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Kids' Health

Answers (11)
  • Theripy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I was going to say the same thing.
    Sue41

    Answer by Sue41 at 10:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • please get this child some therapy,my heart broke as i read this......child molesters make me want to go out & buy a gun & pick them off 1 @ a time!!!!!
    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 10:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • He is in therapy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Oh my... I am so sorry! You need to try and get him into counseling, for sure and it's going to be quite a process. You may have to screen quite a few therapists before he finds the right one he is comfortable with. Make sure you reassure him that he does not have to go to anyone ... and it's his decision. Just merely suggest it to him. If he is not open to getting help yet, then it is not going to do anyone any good. If you force it upon him, it will only worsen the situation.
    TinaBeena1216

    Answer by TinaBeena1216 at 11:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • try some otehr kind of therapy and couseling anyting you can think of
    masonelismom

    Answer by masonelismom at 11:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I don't have any advice but here's a great product for the fear of the dark - it's called a TykeLight. It comes on when you remove it from it's charging base OR when the power goes out. When it's on, it will stay on all night. I know it's made for toddlers and little kids but it might help.

    http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=tykelight&origkw=tykelight&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957&sr=1
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:22 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • You should sit down with him and let him know that he is in a place that he will not be hurt in. Let him know that you are there for him and then ask him if there is anything he wants to talk about. Just listen...even though it's hard not to jabber through the awkward silence...just listen. You will be surprised what kids will just start talking about. He may not talk about serious stuff at first but it will come as he gets more comfortable. I had a few encounters with my own father as a child, not as severe, but I know it is hard to get through and talking about it is the hardest part. Look for some support groups if you can. The more he gets comfortable talking the more he will be able to overcome it. Hope this helps...You are in my thoughts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • My son was abused, and was afraid of the dark for more than ten years, but gradually it did go away. Your son went through far more than most of us can imagine. Gentle patience, time, and good nightlights help. Let him know it will always be okay to sleep with a light on. He might benefit from having a constant affirming CD playing as he sleeps. It can speak to his subconcious mind and help him develop strong self talk. Also, the steady drone of such a CD would be comforting and shatter the darkness in the mind where old memories hurt him.
    MomShap

    Answer by MomShap at 12:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I can understand what he is going through, I have been there myself. I am now a grown woman with children of my own so there is hope for him. The best thing for him is therapy and just be there for him. Don't be to pushy let him come to you, let him initiate any touch. You have to earn his trust. They have medications they could give him combined with therapy their is still hope for him. If you ever need to talk, I am always here and i will try to help any way I can just send me an e-mail. I try to use what I went through to help other kids.
    redtang912

    Answer by redtang912 at 8:27 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

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