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2 Bumps

Have you placed a baby for adoption and if so why?

And after you placed, then conceived again, have you kept those babies?

Answer Question

Asked by Penguin88 at 12:04 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Adoption

Level 6 (108 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • No I have not, but I would love to adopt!

    Answer by jenelle79 at 12:05 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Yes. She was the result of a rape. I had one ds when it happened and I had to ask myself, can I treat them the same. It is an open adoption and I see her, altho not as much as I would like. Her family lives in colorado and i am goin to visit this summer. I have a third child who lives with me now. She and my ds have the same father, who is the man I was married to.

    Answer by parajumper3 at 12:06 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Did her being a result of a rape repulse you? I guess I am having trouble understanding the WHY question myself. I don't mean to be too intrusive.

    Comment by Penguin88 (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Yes, my parents pushed the decision. The told me I couldn't live with them, refused to let me use one of our three vehicles to get a job but gave the car to my younger brother for a job, (there weren't jobs where I lived in the middle of nowhere), I couldn't move out because I had no money and no one would sign a lease to a 17 yr old anyway, when my boyfriends parents wanted me to move in with them, my parents said no I was a minor and weren't giving me permission, their insurance wouldn't cover the babies expenses or delivery, the state wouldn't provide any medical assistance because I lived at home...the list goes on...I had no choice.
    I have two more children and yes I kept them. They are amazing and I love them just as much as I loved my first son. My parents kicked me out then as well but allowed my younger brother and his pregnant girlfriend to move in with them the same year. I left and have an amazing family.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:24 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I wanted to add that when I did get pregnant the second time 18 months later, I consider placing my second child with the adoptive parents that had my first. However I realized that if I gave them my son, would I have to give them the next child and the next. I had it in my head that if you love you're child that you want the best and I wasn't the best. I even tried to convince other girls my age that they need to give away their children. I believed that loving meant being selfless and giving your children to someone that was better than you. I worried that my oldest would be angry I didn't keep him but his brother, I worried my new baby would feel that I didn't love him enough because I kept him. I finally realized that there was no way in hell I was giving another child up, I loved my child and that was truly all I needed.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:30 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I am a birthmom. After getting pregnant I left the sperm donor, because I could tell it was about to get abusive (I found out later he had a history of abuse, and I could tell when he'd get mad he'd have to hold back and not hit me, etc - verbal abuse was starting, as well as emotional). I knew I could not handle being a single parent, I knew I wouldn't have much, if any, help from family, and I knew I would get zero support from him, nor did I want it - and I especially did not want to expose a baby/child to him & his behavior. I went through an agency, my counselor did all the talking with him about signing his rights away, I chose the family - he had no say in any of my choices. He willingly signed the papers (thank God!!!). I have never regretted my decision. That baby was my first, and yes, I went on to get married and have more kids - they all know my first & the oldest ones know they are (half) sisters.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Yes. I wanted to stay in the US and would have had to go back to England to keep him, If i'd know then what I know now I'd have taken my knocked up ass back there. No I did not relinquish my subsequent children.

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:27 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I was 17 when I had my first son he was adopted but we have an open adoption and I do get to see him every year, 3 years later I had another son and I kept him because I was in a great relationship and I was more responsible and more financed then I was at 17. My second son will be 1 in May and my first 4 in December and still to this day I wouldnt have it any other way! It was the best choice Ive ever made for both my boys (and our adoption is open so yes I call him my first to my friends and other people but to him I just call him by his name.)

    Answer by HypoHeartBaby at 1:44 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I became pregnant the end of my freshman year in college.My long term bf ,my family and his family all ganged up to have me locked away in an agency maternity home.There was no financial motivation on their part they all are very,very comfortable.They were worried about the social implications.There was one pay phone , I begged ,pleaded, cried anything to keep him.I was warned if I was able to get away I would be found and my child removed due to me being immoral.I was able to eventually have more children.A hack job c-section by the quack MD left me with infertility issues.I have praying to meet him everyday since Jan 17,1977 10:16 am.My 26 y/o and 20 y/o know about him they were told when they were older.They want to meet their brother.My young teens don't know yet.


    Answer by drfink at 6:14 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • My mother was 25 and married with 3 sons when she surrendered me to adoption. Her husband was not my father. Between him and the agency, they convinced mom that getting rid of me would save the marriage.
    NOT! She would leave the marriage and family 2 years after me. Her husband was nothing more than a jerk.

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:14 AM on Feb. 4, 2011

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