We're planning a "budget wedding". A little ceremony for the sake of my parents, family, and friends. Originally my SO and I wanted to just go to the courthouse and sign papers. When we announced our engagement everyone was thrilled! Somehow we lost control and our parents took over. Especially my MIL. They were planning this moderately extravagant wedding that neither side could really afford. That plus the cost of the dress, and church rentals, venue for the reception, invitations (my GOD the invitations), blah blah blah. Things we didn't think we necessarily had to go overboard on. Any who... after reviewing the fact that neither side could really afford ANY of this craziness. My SO and I sat them down and explained to them OUR plan. My SO is in the reserves and plans to go full active duty. So to get the ball rolling we explained that everyone's financially tight. We need money for ourselves after we get married and we feel it'd be a total waste to spend it on a giant party. I, myself am not fond of thousand dollar dresses that you'll only wear for one day of your life for a few hours. (I was searching for dress rentals.. but I originally just wanted a cute white sun dress thing- I'm not very feminine)
ok ok. Back to the MIL being a baby. Well my parents loved this plan (considering it was our side that would traditionally have to pay for it, and because they see my SO as more of a man for presenting this plan in a mature way). But my SO's mom... She keeps pushing the fact that "we can make this work. We can still rent the hotel for the venue. You want to make sure EVERYONE else enjoys themselves. (talking to SO) You owe it to her (referring to myself) and her parents to throw them a wedding. blah blah blah" If I thought my SO owed me anything it'd most likely be in the form of a trip to some tropical island for just us. And He explained to her that we aren't trying to take this away from them.. thus the small ceremony. I think living room ceremonies are adorable. Weddings can be cheap and NOT ghetto. Cost efficiency and ghettoness do not have to be the same thing IMO.
So we've stuck with my church since they'd help us out with the whole package, ceremony, marriage counseling, programs. They even have a beautiful medium sized multipurpose room we can use for the reception for about 60 people. But when we told MIL we're sticking with the MP room at the church she got upset that we didn't rent the hotel she was pushing for. Claiming "well, that'll take forever to decorate, you still have to hire caterers! you should've gotten the hotel for the people who are flying in (she's kind of a make shift wedding coordinator, helps other ppl out a lot)". One, she told us if we were to get the hotel MP room (which are HUGE ball rooms) she would decorate, wouldn't that take longer? Two, If it's less than 50 ppl, no big deal. My mom and her friends LOVE to cook (two of them owned a restaurant in another country). They make way more food than needed for our ever popular house parties with generally the same amount of people. Three, because of our change to the wedding, Only 3 people are flying in for my wedding. They're my best friends. Some still in college (i'm 21 if that's important). I wouldn't want them in a hotel after spending all that money on a plane ticket to see ME. I think i would owe it to them to stay at my house with some friendly, 'i haven't seen you in a while,' best friend hospitality.
Well now she keeps calling my SO at work complaining about everything. How his plan to go full active duty is horrible and so on.
blah blah. i'm venting i know. i hope this wasn't a total waste of your time.
but is she being reasonably upset? or is she flying off the handle?
Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Relationships
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