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What would you do???

If your husband had a drinking problem,you stayed with him throughout all of it,and now he is impotent because of the drinking would you stay with him?Doesn't seem to matter to him.This has made him like a buddy ,no feelings toward sex or any and i mean no hugs,no nothing.I am trying to cope,what would you do?It has been 2 years since any sex.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i would just have buy a strap on and do me that way if it really was just the lack of sex but the fact that he isn't loving would worry me and for that i would go get some type of therapy. i'm sure there is something he could do about the impotence like viara and what not. maybe try that before a strap on.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:24 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • does he still drink? Do you enjoy eachothers company in other ways? I would not be ok with no hugging or anything..he could still satisfy your needs. I am thinking if he doesnt care to satisfy those needs that you may not be connecting in other areas either. Do you have date nights? Is he good with your children? Is he kind, helpful around the house, works and pays bills? The answer to the other questions would help me decide if I could work around the lack of sex...
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • No drinking period now.We get along like friends.We sleep in the same bed,but no hugs kisses or anything.we work together so there is a relationship just not a husband and wife relationship.I get down on myself too much.I am lonely.And i have told him ,many times.Just don't know if this is it for me.Children are grown,does not help with anything at home,seems not interested in me or our old life together.And i do not do strap ons.He is kind to me,supports me financially just no love.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • he has a tongue..... it would bother me if he shows no affection .you need to tell him exactly what u told us and if he is not willing to change, can you live like this? just be ready to make your decision. life is too short.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 4:45 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Oh i have many times,Its always just be patient,but I am not old and i desperately want a life.I am afraid he will start drinking again if i leave.So damned if i do damned if i don't.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:48 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I'm touching this with my 10 foot pole... LOL I was married to this guy. You actually just pretty much wrote out the summation of my last marriage. Please note the words I use.... was married, last marriage. I did this for 20 years. Then I woke up. I don't think I need to say more.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • You cant worry about him any more you need to live your own life and start to make you happy. You definately need counceling because you are codependent you need help now because you have been helping him for so many years. I am so sorry for you but I lived in a loveless marriage and I became so much happier . Its not easy right now but it will get easier. 1. He is grown up and can take care of himself if he relapses thats on him, he must know your relationship is not what it should be and its time for a change, start giving him clues or just start talking to him so its not a suprise
    Good Luck
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:43 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I'm sorry but you need to start worrying about yourself for once and do what you need to to make yourself happy! Good luck
    Bird16_J

    Answer by Bird16_J at 8:49 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

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