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What do you think of the old "Do as I say, Not as I do" way of parenting?

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Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 4:56 PM on Feb. 3, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (22)
  • it's a pretty stupid way of parenting. leading by example is the way to go.

    Answer by febmom007 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I think its a bad way of parenting. Kids follow what adults do to a -T-. I think that it is importnat to role model all of values you are teaching kids.

    Answer by Tarrar at 4:58 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • shoutingi see nothing wrong with it. i drink, i have sex, it does doesn't mean my child should do it too ..... i am an adult they are kids , so do as i say until your turn 18.


    Answer by gwen20 at 4:59 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I think it's ineffective and the children will probably realize eventually that their parents are hypocrites. There is nothing wrong with parents admitting their flaws to their kids and letting kids know we are working on areas that need improvement, but aside from that, we need to strive to set the example that we want our kids to follow.

    Answer by vicesix at 4:59 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I guess it depends on how it is presented. Some things aren't necessarily bed but they aren't appropriate for a child to be doing. Like I will be the first to tell you that I curse. I know I shouldn't. I know that. But I do. My children know that they are grown up words and when they are 18 they can use them to. On the other hand if it is something like no you can't have coke because it isn't healthy but I can have 4 glasses today that seems not only hypocritical but somewhat confusing as well. I dunno if that makes sense but I know what I am talking about! lol.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:01 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • *lol. bad not bed

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:01 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I get what you're saying But_Mommie...obviously age-appropriate activities are different. My daughters aren't allowed to wear lipstick right now, but I don't think it's a problem that I do, lol.
    I assumed the OP was not talking about stuff like that...?

    Answer by vicesix at 5:03 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • Certain things that are appropriate for adults are not appropriate for children. I call my friends by their first names, that does not mean my child gets to do the same. I stay up as late as I want, my child does not. I swear and occasionally drink beer, my child does not. I support the lead by example, but in the end I am the parent and what I say goes. Period.

    Answer by hootie826 at 5:07 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • I think the parents need to be positive role models for their kids right away. I don't think they should do stuff they wouldn't want their kids to infront of them. If they have bad habits they should learn to drop them.

    Answer by Liblib430 at 5:08 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • There is a difference between the Do as I say way and simply not allowing them do drive because they are 4. It would be more like not allowing your 16yo to drive w/o a license and then not having one yourself - even though you drive... It's a very hypocritical way to raise your children IMO.

    Comment by SabrinaMBowen (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

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